Dashed Expectations

Yo dawgs! Remember this thing? Me neither. But it existed! And now I'm reposting it! AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Chapter 1: Scroll down.
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5 (this one's actually new! OH MY GOOOOOD)

"Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokemon!"

With those words, the television flickered off. "Bluh, seems like those professors' recruitment videos are interrupting my cartoons more and more these days." a very skinny figure muttered. Standing up on his stick-like legs, he fixed his open, brown trenchcoat with his also stick-like arms as he did so.

The figure was rather short, couldn't have been more than four feet tall, probably a young child. His large, round, completely black eyes seemed irritated, apparently not too keen on being welcomed to the world of Pokemon.

"MOM! I'm heading to the arcade!" the figure shouted, heading out the door, putting on a colorful propellor cap on his way out, not really bothering to wait for a reply.

"Alright, Elby, just be careful!" a female voice shouted, sounding slightly worried, as the mother was off doing things that were entirely too uninteresting for us to focus on.

As Elby stepped out into the fresh air, he noticed it was sunset. As one would expect, the sunsets here in Sunset City were quite a sight to behold. The boy at least took solace of the television interruption's nice timing as he made his way towards the arcade, as he often did.

"Well, if it isn't Stick LB!" a voice rang out, sounding of a pseudo-friendly tone. Oh, how he hated that name. They always called him that, the "stick" due to his incredibly thin limbs, and the LB, referring to the abbreviation for the unit of measuring, a pound. It referred to two things: one, how light in weight he was, and two, well...

"So, how about a nice pound?" he asked rhetorically, punching his fist into his open palm threateningly as he and his gang of buddies approached. This was a pretty regular occurance. Not just from these, but basically any time Elby ran into kids from the Pokemon schools.

Some thought it was because Elby hated Pokemon. Some thought it was because he refused to go to the Pokemon schools. Both of those are wrong, though, and were a result of the hostility, not the cause of it.

The real answer is, of course, because kids are !#%$.

To be more specific, Elby was often picked on because he looked so different from everyone else. A lot of kids didn't even think he was human. Hell, some adults wondered sometimes. Kids, often quick to find reasons to separate from each other for being different, basically had a field day with Elby.

Let's just skip ahe- oh, wow, that looked like it hurt. Er, I mean, yeah, let's just skip ahead of this, I'm sure you have no interest in seeing a kid get the !#%$ beaten out of. Or if you do, you may want to see a therapist.

Once that was finally over, the kids just going on their merry way, pleased with their work, Elby just laid on the ground, staring up at the sunset. It was almost symbolic, only not at all and oh whoop there it goes and now it's just night.

Slowly, Elby closed his eyes, just wanting to rest a bit before he went on his way. As used to this as he was, it was still kind of a pain, in the most literal sense possible. Slowly, he began to relax, the pain disappearing, and--

"PBBBBBT" he spat, shooting up whilst wiping his face off, a bunch of water in his face all of a sudden.

"Okay, good, you're not dead."

As Elby opened his eyes, the water clearing from them, he saw someone he hadn't seen before. It was a girl, probably around 12 years old, with short, blonde hair and... rather ratty looking clothes, honestly.

And then in her place, he saw a big, brown, black, and white horned fish, flopping around in front of his face.

"Who are you and what the heck are you doing?" he asked.

"What, that's the thanks I get for saving your life?" she rebutted, "You should be thankful the future Champion took time out of her busy schedule to save some random... what the hell are you, anyways?" she went on.

"I was just having a lie down, I didn't need savi-" BONK. A Pokeball hit Elby right in the forehead.

"Damn, didn't catch it!" the girl cursed to herself. "Should've left it to sleep, would've been easier... A talking Pokemon, must be quite a rarity."

Elby let out a very loud groan, finally deciding to get up. "I'm a person, thank you very much, just like you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll-"

"You are the ugliest person I have ever seen. Like, seriously, how do those legs even hold you up?" the girl interjected.

Elby just stood there for a moment, staring at the girl in some combination of confusion and disbelief.

Finally snapping out of it, he started walking off towards the arcade, finding himself quite done with this conversation. "Well, you have fun having animals kill each other, I got things to do." he said, giving a half-hearted wave as he walked off.

"Are you suuuuure you're not a Pokemon?" the girl persisted, now following him, having recalled her Seaking.

"Pretty positive, yeah." Elby simply answered, sighing to himself.

"And how do I know you're not just tricking me so I won't try to catch you?" she asked, still not satisfied.

"I live in a city. I can talk. I have friggin' legs and arms!" Elby answered, getting more and more frustrated.

"I've seen Pokemon do all those things before." the girl answered quickly, STILL not convinced.

Finally fed up, Elby turned around, then grabbing the girl's shoulders, turned her around, and pushed her away. "FINE, I'm a Pokemon, and this Pokemon fled! Can't be captured! Nope! Better just move on with your life!" he shouted.

"Ooooh, I get it, you have a trainer, duh. That's why you're in town and not in tall grass." the girl said, more thinking aloud than anything.

"I will punch you." was all Elby could manage to say.

"Right, with your little stick arms, whatever. Just show me who your trainer is, we must BATTLE." she replied, seeming determined and not moving from her spot.

"Whatever, I'm going to the arcade, you can do whatever you want." Elby resigned, just moving on his way.

And to the arcade he did go, and follow him the girl did. She just stood their, patiently waiting, as he played some random game. He tried his best to just ignore her, but he wasn't very good at it.

Finally giving up after about, oh... ten minutes, Elby just decided to head home.

And all the way, of course, the girl followed him.

As he entered his home, there was his mother. She had light blue hair, normally long but tied up with a green ribbon, a long, simple blue dress with white triangular trim on the bottom, and a red ribbon around her neck. Noticing Elby's bruises, she bent down to him, trying to comfort him with "Oh, dear, did you get beaten up again, I'm--"

She promptly stopped mid-sentence, completely surprised when she saw the girl following him. "Oh, you finally made a friend, I knew this day would come eventually!"

"What, no, I, what, that's not even--" was all Elby could muster to say before he was pushed aside as his mother went on to question the new "friend."

"It's a girl even!" she went on to say, "So what's your name? Did you two just meet? How many babies do you plan on having?"

"Well, I am the future Champion, the one and only, the great, RUKI!" Ruki answered, sounding confident. "And I do have a Ditto, could do some breeding with your Pokemon there if you wanted."

"Oh, she's even ambitious!" the mother went on.

Elby, meanwhile, was just sitting in the corner, more depressed than he could have ever imagined possible before. This made all the years of beatings seem pretty good right about now.

"BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT!" Ruki suddenly shouted, pointing upward in a badass manner, "WE MUST BATTLE!" With that, she threw out a Pokeball, her Seaking from earlier coming out.

"Oh, haha, you want to pretend, okay, sure. Um, then, GO, ELBY!" the mother shouted, playing along as she pushed Elby towards the Seaking.

Elby just sat there, wondering what exactly he did to deserve this.

"SEAKING," Ruki shouted, ready for battle, "SOFTEN HIM UP WITH A SPLASH ATTACK!"

And so Elby got his face covered with water once again. Perhaps he was Hitler in a past life, he thought.

"Uh, ELBY," the mother shouted back, not quite sure what to do with this, "USE, uh... MEGA PUNCH!"

Slowly, Elby stood up. He walked over to the Seaking, and punched it. Then he walked over to Ruki, and punched her. Then we walked over to his mother, and punched her. "I swear to god." was all he could say.

The mother started giving Elby a stern talking to, telling him that he shouldn't punch girls, especially his own mother, and-- "HORN DRILL!" oh god and now he has a giant horn in his back, welp.

Elby just kind of laid on the ground in pain, twitching occasionally. "VICTORY IS MINE!" Ruki shouted, very happy with her triumph. Then there was a grumbling sound, namely, from Ruki's stomache. "... As payment for winning the battle, I demand food." she quickly added.

"Oh, but of course! Any friend of Elby's is free to stay for dinner." the mother chimed in, heading to the kitchen.

And so, doodedoo, skip ahead to dinner being ready, aaaannnnd...

The three of them were all sitting at the table, now, with plates full of bacon in front of them. "Finally," Elby thought, "as horrible as this day's been, at least the bacon can make it all worth it."

He closed his eyes, salivating, ready to eat...

And got a splash of water in the face.

Groaning to himself, he wiped water off his face for the third time today, only to find his plate completely empty. "What." was all he could muster. Eventually, he looked around, and it didn't take him long to spy the culprit: that Seaking, flopping around on the ground, with bacon in its mouth.

Elby just collapsed his head onto the table, muttering to himself "I give up."

The other two, not having noticed any of this, had a discussion going on.

"So I was wondering, would you be willing to trade him for anything? I knew a Meowth that talked once, I could trade you one of those for it." Ruki asked, taking a bite of bacon.

"Oh, I always knew he'd go on a Pokemon adventure some day. He said he hated them, but I knew it couldn't last forever." the mother replied, selective hearing at its finest.

"MEXCEWENT!" Ruki shouted behind a mouthful of bacon, digging around for a Pokeball and tossing it over to the mother. "So, where's his Pokeball?" she went on to ask, taking another bite.

"Oh, you can keep his stuff in this." she answered, pulling out a backpack and handing it over to Ruki. "It should be handy."

Elby, having heard every word, sat back up, and could only ask, "Did that really just happen?" or at least, he would have, had he not been interrupted mid-sentence by a backpack going over his head.

"It's getting late," the mother pointed out, "you two should get some sleep before you head off on your adventure." Turning to Elby, she said "You should let her use your bed, it'd be rude to make a girl sleep on the couch."

"Yes, my new Pokemon, lead me to this bed." Ruki commanded.

Not even trying to resist anymore, Elby just lead Ruki to his room. With the backpack still on his head. As he made his way back to the couch to sleep, he found the Seaking already nestled there.

And then he just collapsed on the floor.

"Wake uuuuuuup!" Ruki's voice called as Elby felt a kick in his side.

"Just ignore it," he thought, "and maybe it'll go away."

"WAKE UUUUUUUP!" kick. "WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP" kick, kick, kick, kick, kick.

"Hmph." Ruki finally grunted, crossing her arms in frustration. All the beatings must've made that sort of thing easy to ignore.

For a while, there was silence. Thinking he had finally been spared some mercy, Elby took the chance to drift off back to sleep, his head still inside that backpack.

Then, he felt something slippery. It felt weird, whatever it was. "What in the-"

And then the entire backpack was wet.

"Excellent job, Seaking!" Ruki shouted, "Splash is always super effective."

Elby quickly jolted up, surprised, to say the least. Then he went back down. Having a fish trying to flop around whilst squeezed in with your head in a backpack didn't exactly do wonders for your balance.

"What is thi- bluhglub I bubloblioble" was about all he could get out between all the water and the slimy fish in his face.

"ALRIGHT, now that that's done, let's go!" Ruki commanded, walking off without bothering to recall the Seaking.

CRASH, BLAM, BUBLORK, ssssSHVOOM

Between the slimy fish trying to follow its master and Elby just trying to regain his balance, the two managed to slip and crash all over the place, not exactly getting anywhere.

Ruki was tapping her foot at the door, looking on her wrist where a watch would be if she had one. "COME ON ALREADY! How are we going to get to the Elite 4 in time if you two are going to waste so much time goofing off?" she scorned.

After this went on for at least ten minutes, Ruki finally butted in with "Alright, if you two can't stop making out for a second, I'll just have to separate you." She finally recalled the Seaking to its Pokeball. "Dang frisky thing," she grumbled, "I'll have to put it in a daycare center later."

Having woken up, the mother came out of her room. "Oh, you two are leaving already!" she said, glad to have caught them. Kneeling down to Elby, she gave him a hug (completely ignoring the backpack on his head) and said "Goodbye, dear, don't forget to write!" and proceeded to literally push him out the door with Ruki.

"Alright, now, we don't have time to lose if we want to battle the Elite Four in time," Ruki explained, "so quick, take us there using Extreme Speed!"

Elby merely stood there silently.

Dot dot dot.

"I SAID," Ruki finally shouted, grabbing on to Elby, "use EXTREME SPEED!" and there he goes, way to the north. Quite a throwing arm Ruki has.

A lot of running and at least a dozen more throws later, Elby now found him flying not into dirt this time (or a Cacturn, or that Beedrill nest, or that Ariados' web...), but a nice brick wall.

"Ah, a place." Ruki commented as she walked up. "The home of the Elite Four, and more importantly, the Champion." She grabbed on to one of the backpack's straps and and dragged Elby inside.

"ALRIGHT, BLASTED ELITE FOUR! I'VE COME TO CHALLENGE YOU! SHOW YOURSELVES!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, pointing in the air dramatically as she entered.

"Excuse me, do you have all eight badges?" a woman nearby, behind a desk, asked, unphased by Ruki's, uh... loud demeanor.

"Bah, I have two, and they were easy! The rest would be the same! Two is ALL I NEED!" Ruki responded, seeming as confidant as ever.

Without missing a beat, the woman replied "I'm sorry, ma'am, but if you don't have eight badges, I'm afraid I can't--"

"Tell me, Ms. Cekretarie, does a baby platypus wait around before climbing out of its mother's womb and claiming the land for its own?" a man interrupted, walking in from the doorway next to the desk. He had short, neat light purple hair, wore a black business suit. Most apparent, though, was the pair of bright pink sunglasses he wore.

"Sir, platypi come out in eggs--" Ms. Cekretarie had began.

"PRECISELY! So tell me, are you a platypus, young lady?" he went on to ask.

Ruki stood triumphantly, shouting "OF COURSE NOT!"

And then he smacked her on the head. "The correct answers is only on Tuesdays, as that's when Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff reruns air, so now I have to beat you in a battle to punish you for your lack of respect for quality television."

Ruki rubbed the back of her head in pain, responding with "I- what? I mean, YES! Wait, you are an Elite Four member, right?"

"Does a koala enjoy a good pastry while watching a sumo match?" the man replied without missing a beat.

Ruki was just dumbfounded. "Uh... I don't--" and then a Pokeball bounced off her forehead. "OW!"

As the Pokeball landed, out came something large and purple, seeming to appear weightless despite its size. It's red eyes stared into its opponent, it's large, toothy smile seeming unnaturally large.

"Right! GO, USE MEGA PUNCH!" Ruki shouted, launching Elby towards the Gengar, sending him flying out from the backpack.

"Wha-" was all he could say at these events before phasing through the Gengar and crashing into the wall behind it.

"Quick, Gengar, show that weird Pokemon its deepest, darkest nightmares, leaving it with nothing but peanut butter to find solace in: USE LICK!" the man quickly shouted.

"I don't even--" Elby tried to protest, but to no avail as he was suddenly covered from toe to head in warm saliva as he rested upside down on the wall.

"Damn, he's paralyzed." Ruki cursed to herself, "QUICK! USE REST!"

"Hurry, before it counters with sleep, Sucker Punch!" he shouted, resulting with Elby flying into the air as the Gengar gave him a nasty uppercut. "Shadow Ball! Confusion! Night Shade! Spite! Mean Look! Spite! Spite! Shadow Ball!"

After a solid 30 seconds of being tossed around in the air like a rag doll, Elby finally hit the ground.

...

...

...

Ever so slowly, Elby woke up, not entirely sure of what happened. He looked around, but to no avail, as there was merely darkness in all direc--

"What do you mean I can't get him healed here?!" a familiar voice shouted.

"I don't think that's a Pokemon. And even if it is, I can't heal it if it's not in a Pokeball." another, not so familiar, but much gentler voice said.

"Nonsense!" the first voice shouted. "Don't you see this thing? This is its Pokeball! I know it's not exactly standard issue, but..."

Suddenly, Elby's vision was flooded with light. He covered his eyes, being used to the darkness.

"This?" the Nurse Joy asked sarcastically, holding up the backpack that was on Elby's head just prior. "This is a backpack."

"Bah, whatever." Ruki replied resignedly, "We'll just take our business elsewhere." She snatched the backpack out of the Nurse's hands and drug Elby out by his feet.

"Wow," Nurse Joy muttered to herself, "kids are !#%$."

Elby decided to not even object to being dragged around, figuring by this point, doing so would somehow make things even worse. Looking around, he noted that they were back in Sunset City. Apparently the fight with that Elite Four man hadn't gone well after he went out.

"Well, if it isn't Stick LB!" a familiar voice rang out.

Ruki stopped, turning towards her dead weight. "You know these guys?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course he knows us! He knows everyone in this town. All those special times together..." the boy explained, smirking as he pounded his fist into the palm of his other hand, "Now if you'll excuse us, we have some business with him."

Ruki looked at the kids, then back at Elby, then back at the kids. "That's called Pokemon abuse, y'know." Ruki finally chimed in.

"Yeah? And so what are you going to do about it?" the boy asked, stepping forward.

"Child abuse." she replied, throwing a Pokeball at them, releasing a Seaking.

Aaaaand we'll just skip ahead again, because hopefully you still don't want to see kids get the crap beaten out of them.

"Bah, hiding behind your girlfriend, like the pansy you are! We'll get you next time!" the kid shouted as he ran off.

Elby simply stared at them as they ran off into the distance. He thought to himself, "They're finally fought off... Maybe things won't be so bad now. Maybe what my mother said is true, maybe I really have finally found... a frie-"

"What are you doing out of your Pokeball?!" Ruki interrupted, putting the backpack back over Elby's head. "Dang troublesome Pokemon that can't even fight for itself, geeze." she went on, grumbling as she began dragging Elby off again.

"Hold it!" a voice suddenly shouted. Ruki, however, paid no mind and kept trodding along. "I SAID HOLD IT!" it repeated, much louder this time. Ruki just kept on truckin'. "IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HOLD IT I WILL MAKE YOU HOLD IT, GOD DAMMIT!" it said one last time. Ruki, of course, ignored this even still. With that, though, she quickly found herself tackled to the ground.

"fhsaofishdoif GO SEAKING, USE A SPLASH ATTACK!" Ruki quickly shouted, taken off-guard as her face was introduced to the lovely Mr. Dirt. The Seaking did as it was instructed, and splashed some water around, which somehow managed to only hit Elby.

As Ruki slowly got up, she saw her attacker: a young girl, albeit older than Ruki and Elby, with purple hair that went over one eye and was tied back in a pony-tail. She wore a yellow short-sleeved jacket with a white shirt underneath, as well as a short blue skirt. The most attention-grabbing part of her, though, was a pair of orange triangle sunglasses and fake bushy mustache that she wore.

"Just who the hell are you?" Ruki asked, rubbing her head as she stood up.

"Just who the hell do you think I am?!" the girl replied a little too quickly.

Ruki simply paused, not quite sure how to respond.

The girl finally spoke up again, "Uh, I mean, you can call me Shades. I just wanted to say that I could totally take that, uh, Pokemon off your hands, since it's so useless for you."

Ruki rubbed her chin, seriously considering it. Finally, she spoke up, "Nah, I'm thinking it might have some secret ability or becomes super strong when it evolves, like Feebas or Magikarp, or something like that. Figure it's gotta have something worthwhile."

Shades quickly replied, "Well, uh, I could just borrow it, and make it stronger for you! I know exactly how to do it, and then you can just take it back later, strong as ever! You've got lots of badges and other Pokemon to get I'm sure, so you wouldn't want to waste all your time on one little Pokemon, right?"

More chin rubbing. "I guess you got a point there. Alright, you can take it, and here's my phone number for whenever it's ready, or whatever." Ruki finally agreed, handing over the soggy backpack-covered lump. "What's your number, then?"

"Uhhh," Shades mumbled, thinking quickly, "123-4567, yep, totally." Taking Elby, she simply tossed him behind her.

"Alright, thanks, I guess. Now I've got stuff to do, see you!" Ruki said, waving and walking off.

Taken aback by everything happening so quickly, Elby sat idly, wondering just what the hell just happened. His thoughts were quickly interrupted, however, by Shades yanking the backpack off his head and put a fist up to his face. "Pound?" she asked. Elby simply flinched, holding his arms in front of his face and looking away, expecting the worst.

Shades shook her head, seeming entirely disappointed by this. "It's even worse than I thought." she mumbled to herself. Addressing Elby, now, she raised her voice, crossing her arms as she shouted, "Alright, maggot, we've got a lot of work to do if you're ever going to be worthy of being my travelling partner." Suddenly, she pointed dramatically down, right into Elby's face, causing him to flinch once again. "FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS! What are your parents like, and how did they raise you?"

Once he was sure he wasn't about to get pummeled, Elby looked up, answering, "Uh, well, my mother's really nice, although she can be kind of... ditzy, I guess. She generally just lets me do what I want, and tries to comfort and support me when things go wrong."

"Mhm, I see, I see..." Shades said, nodding her head periodically as she made motions as if she were writing something on a piece of paper in her hand, despite having neither paper nor anything to write with.

"As for my dad, well..." Elby began, trailing off as he tried to think of just the right words. After a moment, he decided on something, and reached into his coat, digging around for something. Finally, he pulled out a piece of paper, and held it up for Shades to see. "He's not around much, but he's totally awesome and gives me something to shoot for, as I try to follow in his footsteps. He makes some really awesome things with plaid and makes a ton of money from it."

Shades looked up at the piece of paper, inspecting it closely. On it were some crude drawings of some sort of black, vaguely-humanoid creature that had white eyes and a zigzaggy white mouth. It had stick-like arms and legs, both of which seemed rather squiggly and odd-shaped. Perhaps its most distinguishing feature, though, was the large red tie it wore.

Satisfied, Shades looked back down at her invisible paper and wrote down some more things with her invisible pen, nodding a few more times. As she finished, she pointed dramatically again, once again causing Elby to flinch. "ALRIGHT, next order of business! What do you usually do with your free time?" she asked.

Elby simply replied, "Well, most of the time I watch TV or go play at the arcade, and--"

"SO YOU LIKE MACHINES! PERFECT!" Shades quickly shouted, picking Elby up and running off before he could get another word in.

Without much delay, the two arrived at their destination: a soda vending machine with an "Out of Order" sign on it. "Alright, you use machines a lot, so your first mission is to FIX THIS THING!" Shades shouted, quickly shoving Elby up through the part that typically dispenses the soda. It was a tight fit, taking quite a bit of effort, but she eventually managed to shove him all the way in.

Elby simply sat there inside the machine, having very little room to move and not being able to see anything.

"So? How's the damage?" Shades' voice came in from outside.

Finally regaining his bearings, Elby replied, "Um... I have no idea. I can't even see anything. It'd be nice if I had some actual--" Suddenly, the machine filled with light. "Oh, thank you." he simply said.

"Thank you? For what?" Shades asked, confused, "Did you find your true self in there, allowing you to grow stronger as a person, so as to overcome all obstacles and just be a general badass?"

"What? No. The light, I--" Elby began, stopping as he noticed the source of the light. It was small, round, and yellow, with some black stripes in certain areas, the light emanating from electricity coming from a plug-like growth coming from the top of its head, which was also its torso.

An Elekid.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Elby began screaming at the top of his lungs. The Elekid, in turn, screamed right back. Eventually, it remembered that it could shock things, and so the Elekid responded to this threat by discharging electricity. Lots of it.

"What is it?" Shades called, "Do they only have diet?

As if to answer her, the machine exploded violently, sending soda cans flying everywhere.

Elby, somehow still conscious, weakly stood up, looking around to see if that yellow menace was still around. Before that, though, he saw Shades, laying on the ground near where the machine once was. Worried, he quickly ran up to her, asking "Shades? You okay?"

She slowly opened her eyes, staring up into the sky. She reached up into the air, only to have her arm fall back down. Weakly, she spoke out, "Augh... a fair maiden such as I... can only be revived by the kiss of a badass hero dude." It would've been dramatic had the mustache not been blown out of place and now looked like some sort of huge unibrow.

Elby wanted to question this, but he didn't have it in him to deny what could very well be someone's dying wish. Going along with it, he closed his eyes, moving in closer... closer...

...

"HELL NAW!" Shades screamed, quickly springing up, knocking Elby away violently, "You are neither badass, nor a hero, and for all I know, not a even a dude!"

Elby slowly got back up once again, somehow even more dazed by Shades' violence even more than the explosion.

Facing towards him, Shades put on the angriest face she could muster. "LOOK AT THAT!" she shouted, pointing towards a yellow lump. The Elekid was just now recollecting itself, slowly beginning to stand up. "THE FOE ISN'T EVEN VANQUISHED YET! HOW CAN YOU EVER HOPE TO BE A BADASS HERO DUDE IF YOU QUIT BEFORE THE JOB'S EVEN DONE?!" she went on shouting.

"Ugh... it's just a... friggin' Pokemon. Stupid little thing, just..." Elby grumbled, still dizzy from all the head trauma.

"DID I ASK FOR EXCUSES?!" Shades continued to yell, "THAT THING HAS DISGRACED YOU, AND YOU WILL MAKE IT PAY FOR ITS CRIMES! Oh hey, free soda." Finally noticing the cans sprayed around, she quickly helped herself.

Elby shook his head, trying his best to clear his mind. "Right, okay, I'll beat up the Pokemon, or whatever." he replied. Looking around, he came upon a decision and bent down, picking up a rock and throwing it at the Elekid. It missed. Elby grumbled to himself, picking up yet another rock and throwing it, as well, this one hitting.

Having finally got up, the Elekid turned towards the source of the rock, and yelled, waving its arms frantically, trying its best to look threatening.

Unwavered, Elby threw another rock, and another, and another, and ANOTHER, and ANO-- wait, where'd it go? Confused, Elby looked around, not sure how the Elekid managed to just disappear all of a sudden when he had been looking right at it.

"EXCELLENT WORK!" Shades suddenly shouted, patting Elby on the back (which, of course, surprised him and caused him to fall over on his face). "You caught your first Pokemon! You still got a ways to go, but this is definitely a start."

Elby simply stared at Shades, only finding himself able to say "What."

Shades walked over to the pile of rocks where the Elekid had once been, and picked up a Pokeball. "Savor your victory, now, as it shall be the first of many." she said as she tossed the Pokeball to Elby. Still confused, the Pokeball just managed to hit his face, knocking him out of the trance as the ball fell into his hands.

"So, now that you've finally obtained your first Pokemon, what are you going to do?" Shades asked as Elby stared down at the Pokeball. His very first. What adventures would await them...?

"Throw it away." Elby answered, chucking the Pokeball away as hard as he could. "Pokemon are dumb creatures capable of little more than violence." he spat, turning away.

Moving quickly, Shades caught the Pokeball before it flew out of sight. "C'mon, they're totally more than mindless killing machines!" she interjected. "Oddish! Show him who you are--an infinite well of determination, loyalty, and compassion!" she yelled, throwing out a Pokeball that released an Oddish, wearing sunglasses and a fake mustache just like Shades'.

Unfortunately, Elby decided to ignore this and was already walking off. "I'm going home," he growled, "these past couple days have left me exhausted."

"Hey, now, you belong to me!" she shouted, grabbing Elby by the back of the collar, "Even if you're not going to use Pokemon yet, you and I have much to do."

"More of your insane combat training?" Elby grumbled, "What's next? Ursarang wrestling? Punching Sharpedos? Or maybe we'll go on a field trip and go fight in an actual war?"

Shades simply smiled as she dragged Elby off. "Oh, you'll see," she said, "You'll see."

"Alright," Shades finally affirmed, stopping, "so you think Pokemon are mindless killing machines, huh?"

"Pretty much." Elby simply replied.

Shades smirked to herself, propping Elby up in front of her. "Then I suppose it's time for the next part of your training..." she began, grabbing on to the backpack resting atop Elby's head, "to BEGIN!" With that, she yanked the backpack off, unleashing Elby's sight to the trials that lay before him.

"A lake?" Elby asked.

"A lake." Shades confirmed.

Elby simply stared for a moment, contemplating what this could mean. "What, am I going to have to swim around it for hours on end? Or... we're not actually punching Sharpedos, are we?" he finally spoke up, suddenly seeming incredibly worried.

Shades simply laughed, walking in front of Elby. "What you see before you is not just a lake, I assure you." she explained, "It is far more than that. Every day, people and Pokemon alike come here. Not to fight, no, but to play, to enjoy themselves, to bask in the beauty that is their lives." Turning to face the lake, she crossed her arms and asked, "Do you understand?"

Elby blinked idly for a few moments. "No," he finally said.

"I thought not. The best way of teaching is by example, so, for instance, take..." Shades began, suddenly dashing over to something, "... this fish! Do you not sense its beauty, its splendor, its love for all things? DO YOU?!"

Elby walked over, staring down at the fish. A pale brown, light blue fins, and darker brown spots adorned it. Feebas. It clearly wasn't comfortable being out of the water like this, flopping about constantly in a vain attempt to return to the water.

"Right," Elby grumbled, "beautiful. Of course." Without another word, he kicked the Feebas, sending it into the lake.

"Of course, a fish like that can only truely show its beauty when it's in the water. I knew you'd understand eventually!" Shades shouted, "I'm so proud."

Elby would've facepalmed at this point, but suddenly found himself lifted up. "Now go! See your own handiwork first-hand!" Shades went on, tossing Elby effortlessly into the lake.

"WaitwhatnoIcan'tswimahaofhwoifbdsogblublubglubbublubbleglub" Elby quickly barked, struggling to stay on the surface with all his might as he suddenly found himself pulled under. He flailed and flailed with all his might, but to no avail. Finally determining he wasn't going anywhere but where whatever was pulling him was taking him, he pondered to himself, "So this is how it's going to end, huh? Drowned by a Pokemon? I always knew the little things were viscious, but this... wow." he shook his head, seeming disappointed, somehow. "Between Ruki and Shades, I almost wanted to believe them, that there was more to Pokemon, but... I guess I should've known better."

Slowly, Elby's vision (for what it was worth, being underwater) began to blur. "This is it, I guess. Maybe this is for the best, perhaps the afterlife will be kinder. Yes, finally, I can enjoy release, and--"

SPLOOSH

"WHAT." Elby quickly shouted, suddenly finding his lungs filled with air again as he flew through the air, right into a tree. "Right," he grumbled, "accepting death means I'm not allowed to die." He slowly got up, rubbing his head, but stopped cold when he saw it.

Huge, pure black, huge, peering red eyes, and also very much so huge, it loomed over the pond, which Elby had apparently been taken down via a stream that ran into it and came from the lake he was at before.

"Don't move," Elby thought, "don't even breathe. Maybe it won't notice you."

"Don't be afraid, human." it said.

"ohgdohgoditseesme IT SEES ME" he thought, quickly getting up and running off, only to crash into that same tree. Now on his back, Elby simply looked up at the giant creature, feeling utterly defeated and hopeless.

"Excellent, I finally have your attention. First of all, know that I have chosen you, and only you, for few of you humans are so accepting of such a fearsome-looking creature. But you... you are different." it explained, now turning towards a spot in the water below it. A small brown fish popped its head out. "This young Feebas here explained to me how you helped it in its time of need when no one else would, seeing past its unappealing appearance to see its inner beauty, the kindness and potential that rests inside."

The Feebas stared up at the large creature, an expression of scorn on its face.

"Oh, did I say unappealing appearance? I meant, um... its unique appearance, which is a bit of an... acquired taste. Yes." it defended, seeming slightly nervous. It turned back towards Elby, continuing, "At any rate, its clear that you aren't one to judge so harshly based on appearance and contain an inner kindness of your own. Because of this, I was sure you wouldn't run off in fear, and more than that, I'm sure someone like you must be popular amongst the humans."

Elby was still just staring up idly. He didn't think correcting the creature would be a good idea at this point.

After a moment of silence, the creature spoke again, "And that is why I need you. That is why I had the Feebas take you here. The form you see in front of you is... not real, you see. It's what I look like, sure, but it's merely a false image I'm using to communicate. My real self, my real body, lies deep underground here, put into an eternal slumber. Put into an eternal slumber... by him. He goes by many names, but you need only know that he is... The Great White Terror."

There was another pause, as if for dramatic effect.

Speaking up, the creature went on, "Long ago, this creature, this Great White Terror, rampaged atop the world, wanting nothing more than destruction and hatred to rule. There was only one capable of fighting it, and that was me. Unfortunately, the Great White Terror was able to trick humans into thinking I was the bad one, and thus the humans ended up putting me to sleep. Fortunately, I was able to at least convince the humans that the Great White Terror was a threat, as well, so he, too, was put to rest. While the world may be safe for now, not a day goes by that I worry that the Great White Terror will somehow break the spell, its wrath born anew.

This is where you come in. I don't expect you to fight it, no--I merely want you to convince all the humans at large that it is a beast to be feared, and on top of that, that I am here to protect them from it, to stop that foul menace as only I can.

I will not put this hefty task on you alone, though--even in my current state, I still have some degree of power, as demonstrated by the fact I'm speaking with you now. Utilizing this, I can make a representative... an avatar, if you will, using your pristine form as a base."

Elby was still simply staring as he laid on his back. Not only was this a lot to take in, but he was still pretty much pissing himself in fear of this creature.

"Let it be done." the creature said, suddenly starting to bend down over Elby, who simply continued to laid their, the sheer, unfiltered fear he felt refusing to let him move an inch. Down the creature went, and down some more, until it was now on top of Elby--it was at this point that its image began to shrink, gradually being absorbed by Elby until nothing was left but a poor little boy with his mouth agape.


"Hmmm..." the creature's voice rang out, coming, indeed, from inside Elby himself, "I did not expect you to be so... jaded and distant. I suppose if that's what it takes for a human to reach such a level of kindness, then so be it."

Silence. For what seemed like eternities, there was nothing else but silence, although in reality it couldn't have been more than five minutes.

Finally, a low, guttural sound came from Elby, as suddenly a black, gaseous-looking slurry erupted from his mouth, resting itself in front of the little stick figure. Slowly, it built up and began to take shape. It seemed to be constantly shrouded in darkness, despite the fact that it was out in broad daylight, its figure seeming so familiar.

"Father...?" Elby thought aloud, staring at the new being that looked so much like himself. After a moment of observing it more closely, though, he shook his head, grumbling with "No, he doesn't even have the tie..."

The creature's voice rang out once again, this time seeming to come from all around, "Yes, this avatar of mine will be much like a father to not only you, but mankind in general. It will always be watching out for your kind from the shadows, only there when he needs to be, but always staying in your minds, like, say, music... Yes, that's it. Let him be called..." it paused once again. It liked its dramatic effects. "...Father Classical!"

"That sounds dumb." Elby flatly spoke up, having finally come to his senses.

In a huff, the creature's voice spoke again, "Fine, then what would you suggest?"

Elby rubbed his chin in thought for a moment, then answered, "I dunno, you had a good thing going, but not many people listen to classical music these days... Maybe, like, Father Rock."

"FATHER JAZZ IT IS!" the creature's voice interrupted.

Elby spoke up again, annoyed, "That still sounds dumb."

"Yes, Father Jazz, a wonderful name. It shall be final." the voice said, sounding satisfied as it ignored Elby's protests.

"With that done," the creature's voice continued, "I believe this is where you and I..."

"...goodbye." the black avatar, Father Jazz, finished. His voice was incredibly distinct, piercing through all other noise as if it didn't belong, and yet still seeming soothing, somehow.

And with that word, Father Jazz was gone, having completely disappeared without a trace.

Elby stood up, looking around, seeming confused. "The hell?" he shouted angrily, "You never even told me your actual name. I'm just supposed to tell people 'ooooh, look out, the Big White Meanieface is gonna kill us, you should help this weird black thing I met!"

His question was answered with only silence.

And then it was answered with the creature's voice. "I guess you got a point. You may call me... Zekrom. And its the Great White Terror, although I suppose you could just call it Reshiram."

"Alright, cool, whatever. Where even was I, anyways? I have no idea how to get anywhere from here, we could be out in the middle of nowhere for all I know." Elby went on.

"Just follow the left side of the stream back, and you'll be back to your girlfriend in no time." the creature's explained.

"Dude, gross. I'm six. That girl has to be, like, twice my age, at least." Elby retorted, sticking out his tongue at the thought.

"I don't pretend to understand you silly humans and your weird courtship methods." the voice whined defensively.

Elby just shook his head, heading off along the left side of the strea-

"Wait, no, I meant my left." the voice quickly spoke up.

Facepalming, Elby went around the pond and up along the other side of the stream.

It wasn't long before Elby reached the lake again and Shades came into view. She was sprawled out on a beach chair, and atop her head sat her Oddish, shading its master's face with its leaves.

"Ah, there you are." she commented as Elby approached. "Did you finally come to terms with Pokemon? Do you finally recognize their value as companions and as individuals?" she asked, still relaxing on the chair.

"No." Elby flatly replied.

"AHA!" Shades shouted, quickly springing up, sending the Oddish flying into the air, "I see you got yourself a companion!" She pointed behind Elby. He turned around, noticing a Feebas in the water, watching. No, not a Feebas, the Feebas. The one that he kicked into the lake, and had apparently brought him to that... whatever it was, Zekrom.

"To have attained such a level of friendship before you've even actually caught it... you're truly learning far more quickly than I could've thought." Shades said, patting Elby on the back with one hand as she caught her Oddish as it descended with her other.

"What, I--no, I still hate Pokemon! Especially that dumb fish!" Elby snapped back, flailing his arms in frustration.

"Oh, right, of course," Shades replied solemnly, "then you'll want this to throw at it, probably." She handed Elby a clump of dirt.

Elby blinked vacantly, surprised by how easily Shades had accepted that. Finally, he spoke up, "Well, I was just going to ignore it, but, I guess..." With that, he chucked the dirt at the Feebas.

The dirt quickly fell apart in midair, revealing a Pokeball as the Feebas quickly disappeared into it.

Elby simply stared as the ball plopped into the water.

"Well?" Shades asked with a sly grin, "Aren't you going to go get your reward?"

Elby turned towards her, his expression a combination of disbelief and irritation. "No." he replied, "Hell no."

"That's no way to talk about your well-earned friend! Off you go, now!" Shades quickly responded, picking Elby up and tossing him into the lake. Or trying, anyways: having learned from last time, he held on tight to Shades, causing him to go nowhere. Shades grunted. "I said..." she began, pulling Elby back, " OFF YOU GO!" With that, she launched Elby forward with all her might.

"...Huh, he's even lighter than I thought." Shades mumbled to herself as she watched Elby fly off into the far distance.

"not agaaaaAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!" Elby was shouting as he flew, and flew, and flew, and-- SPLASH.

"THIS IS NOT AN IMPROVEHIOSHBLUBLEGULBGLUBLGLUGSOVBUBLUB" he went on to shout, struggling once again to swim. It was even harder this time, however, as there was a strong current in the river he had landed in. After much struggling and flowing down the river, Elby finally got turned around, and saw it.

A waterfall.

Panicking, Elby struggled even harder, now reaching for anything to grab onto that he could find, with little success. With not far to go until the waterfall, however, he managed to grab on to a rock on the side of the river. Due to the fast current and how high the bank was, however, he wasn't going to be able to climb up, and by the feel of it, the rock was pretty loose and wouldn't hold him long.

"How many times does my life have to be threatened in one day?" Elby thought to himself, "Is this really all necessary? Can we PLEASE just get this over with and have me die already? Or is something dumb going to save me at the last second again?"

It was at that moment that something came into view. Something red... no, white... or both. A... ball?

A Pokeball.

"...No." he thought, gritting his teeth, "No, no, no, no no no, NO! A Pokemon would be more likely to somehow manage to get me killed even faster. There is no way I'm going to even consider using that." As the Pokeball floated towards him, Elby caught it with his free hand... and threw it, as hard as he could, back upstream. "Just go back to where you came, you little demon!" he went on to scream at the top of his lungs at the ball.

It was then that the Pokeball had already managed to float back (Elby not being particularly strong, and the current being pretty dang fast) and smack Elby right in the face, causing him to lose his grip of the rock.

Just before he was going to go over the waterfall, however, he was stopped by a familiar fish-face. Feebas, holding on to one of Elby's hands with a fin as best it could, began swimming against the current as hard as it could. It swam, and swam, and swam... but it wasn't enough. Even at its fastest, the Feebas was still only managing to slow their travel to the waterfall. It kept trying, however, and trying, and trying... until it turned around, swimming full force straight for the waterfall.

"I FREAKING KNEW ITTTT!" Elby went on to scream as the two flew straight off the waterfall.

...

...

...

"AUGHABLEAGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Elby screamed, an intense pain filling his entire body, causing it to contract in strange ways.

"About time you woke up." Shades' voice was heard saying, sounding completely casual.

"WHAT?!" Elby screeched, "YOU THREW ME TO MY DEATH! AND THAT FISH, THAT FREAKING FISH, IT WASN'T HAPPY WITH ME HAVING ANY MORE SECONDS ON MY LIFE, IT DRAGGED ME RIGHT OFF WITH IT, THE DANG THING SACRIFICED ITSELF JUST TO KILL ME, AND--" it was at that moment that Elby found himself crudely interrupted by a smack to the face.

It wasn't Shades, though, no. As Elby finally got his bearings back, in front of him he saw it, that fish he knew all too well by now, flopping around. The Feebas looked irritated at Elby, at least as irritated as a fish out of water could.

"Good to see its not afraid to beat some sense into you." Shades went on, stepping forward. "At any rate, don't you know how waterfalls work? Directly below them are typically sharp rocks. Lots of 'em. That Feebas swam with the current to send you both rocketing past the sharp rocks. Saved you from getting impaled, probably. It probably could've swam against the current had it not tried to save you in the process. Light as you are, you're not weightless. So you should be thankful it tried to save you. It was risky, sure, but not as risky as just leaving you at the mercy of the waterfall."

Elby jumped to his defense, "But, I--"

"FURTHERMORE," Shades interrupted, "you should also be thanking this little thing right here. I slipped it into your jacket when you weren't looking, and apparently you landed in a way that released it. It's what pulled you to shore, since the Feebas wasn't exactly capable of that, being a fish. It's also what shocked you awake a bit ago." She nodded her head down to the side of Elby, indicating an Elekid that had been standing there.

"But, I..." Elby tried to defend himself once again, but trailed off, not being able to think of anything.

"Face it. You owe your life to these two. It was no more crude or violent than it had to be, given the situation, and they had nothing to gain from it." Shades went on, now seeming to tower over Elby almost menacingly. "Do you see now how good-natured Pokemon can be?"

Without another word, Elby looked down at the Feebas, still flopping about. He then turned towards the Elekid, who had been standing there idly, and avoided his gaze as he did so, seeming a bit nervous. The Feebas went on to flop on top of the Elekid, landing in between the two prongs, demanding Elby's attention as it faced him.

"Well?" Shades persisted.

Elby simply stared at the two for a moment silently. After a bit, he reached forward, and hugged them.

With a smile, Shades turned away and began walking off.

"Just these." Elby suddenly spoke up.

"What?" Shades asked, turning around, confused.

"These two are the only ones I have reason to trust right now. They're special, I will give them that. I'm not trusting another Pokemon unless it gives me reason to." Elby said sternly.

Shades sighed, then turned back around. "Good enough for me," she said,

"Good enough."

"So, any guess what your next test is?"

"Throw me off the skyscraper while I have brain freeze to see how I react?"

"A good guess, but nah, this place just has good smoothies." Shades replied, taking a drink of her smoothie.

"Who even puts a smoothie shop on top of a skyscraper?" Elby thought aloud, taking a drink of his own.

"Brilliant people, that's who. Regardless, your next test is-"

"THERE YOU ARE!" a deep voice shouted, accompanied by a loud CRASH.

"Waughlbh" was about all a smoothie-smothered Elby could get out as the dark figure loomed over him.

"What the hell did you do to my smoothie?!" Shades shouted, her and her chair being the only thing unaffected by the figure that just tore through the ground.

Completely ignoring the question, the voice went on, "I've finally found you! After years and years of searching, you're finally within my grasp," picking up Elby by the collar of his coat and staring him in the face with two dull green eyes, "and this time, I'm here for blood."

"You weren't even remotely interested until I mentioned his name, and by your constant dronings on the way over here, I'm pretty sure you just wanted to check on how he was doing." the familiar voice of Elby's other crazy female companion said, coming calmly up the stairs.

"NEVERMIND THAT!" the figure went on, dropping Elby back to the ground as it quickly turned its back to him, its long trenchcoat flapping in the wind, right in Elby's face, "I come for one purpose. To test your worth. To see if abandoning you all those years ago was a mistake, or if you truly are just a shriveled, worthless freak."

"I said WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SMOOTHIE?!" Shades screamed again, this time right in the man's face.

"You dare threaten me NOW?" the man said back sternly, grabbing her by the collar now, holding her not far from the edge of the rooftop, "This is between two men. Mano a mano. Fath- oh my god that is a long way down." At this, he fell back on his butt as he dropped Shades to the side, taken off guard by the sheer height.

"You DARE threaten ME and talk to ME about things between MEN?" Shades fumed right back, grabbing the man by the leg," Well, let me show you how a LADY does things." With that, she was now holding him entirely over the ledge, his light brown hair hanging down as he stared at the street many, many stories below him.

"Oh my god I am so sorry please don't drop me I will give you all my money and life savings and dignity and first born and everything I have ever owned and oh my godoafhoisafh" the man spewed out in a panicked frenzy, his gruff demeanor evaporating in an instant.

"Woah, no need to threaten people with death now, calm down, even if he is kind of crazy." Elby said, having finally gotten his bearings back. "And I'm kind of curious about what he sai- OW" he was quickly interrupted by a poke to the eye.

"Mmm, minty." Ruki commented as she licked some of the smoothie from her finger that she wiped from Elby's still-frosty face.

"Feh, fine. Sure proved manly, alright." Shades grumbled, throwing the man back on the roof.

"R-right, well, as I was saying..." the man stuttered as he stumbled back to his feet, slowly pulling out a Pokeball, "Worthiness, and, stuff, yes. It doesn't matter, since they've already told me I'd win, but I have to see for myself."

"Who's this "they" you keep mentioning? And what did you mean by abandoning me, or whatever it was earlier? For that matter, who even are you?" Elby asked.

"Well," the figure started, a smug look on his face, as if he'd hoped Elby'd ask that, "They are the babies of this world. Still being so young, they are closer than any to the essence that makes up this universe, still uncorrupted by the ways of mankind. They, more than anyone, hold the secrets to the universe. I, alone, hold the power to understand them in full, to unravel the mysteries their minds hold. For I am... the Baby Whisperer."

"what." was all Elby could muster in response.

The, uh, Baby Whisperer smirked even harder, replying with "I didn't expect you to understand. After all, even as a baby yourself, you were already disfigured, having been born corrupted by all that makes mankind evil."

"...What."

The Baby Whisperer sighed, although his smirk just grew even more. Finally throwing the Pokeball, he shouted, "But enough talk. Have at you!"

"Yes! This is the perfect opportunity!" Shades quickly chimed in, popping up behind Elby, "You can test how well you work with your new friends. Pokemon and master, working together with perfect synergy to overcome their opponent, this is what it all comes down to!"

Elby glared at Shades with the most contempt-filled glare a silly pupiless stick figure could muster. "No. No, no, no, nonono NO. This is everything I've ever hated about Pokemon. The fact you are telling me with a straight face to pit these new friends that just saved my life against this crazy man who burst out of the floor and threw a ball at me is just... just insane."

At that, Shades gave a big thumbs up. "Great! You're beginning to understand, then. It's not just about pitting your Pokemon against another. It's about Pokemon and trainer, working together as a team, overcoming every odd. Every success and every failure is just as much your own as it is your Pokemon's. There is nothing, nothing, in this world that will test your bond as much as facing another. Proving you won't ever give up on each other, even in the toughest of times, that you'll make the best move at the best time, that even a loss is just another opportunity to learn and bond. That is what being a Pokemon trainer is about. That is what being a team is about." Shades explained all this, a look in her eyes more intense than ever before as she stood tall over Elby.

Elby merely groaned in response, replying with "Yeah, sure, great speech and all, but I still don't feel comfortable thanking the ones who saved my life by throwing them at the Pokemon of some crazy man atop a skyscraper. He probably has, like, some huge sharp-toothed dragon monster demon thing that would tear them to shreds in an instant, bond or not."

At that moment, the ball finally came to the ground (gravity was kind of tired today, okay), releasing the creature of the Baby Whisperer's wrath. The one that would take down all in his path, the almighty...

Caterpie.

Shades simply stared at Elby, her arms crossed, a sarcastic look on her face, as if to say "Oh really?"

Elby just signed, reaching in his jacket and pulling out his own Pokeball. "Fine, just... go, whichever one this is." he muttered, lightly tossing it forward as a Feebas came flopping out.

"HA! Figures you'd use something as silly as a fish. They just lay a billion eggs, can hardly even consider that a baby." the man scoffed.

"But bugs... whatever, Feebas, just, do what feels natural." Elby said, trying as hard as he could to just get this over with.

"NO!" Shades shouted, punching Elby down. "Did you not hear anything I said?! You have to work as a team! Not just let it do its own thing! Might as well not be here if you're just going to do that! I mean-" she shouted, being interrupted by a sudden splash of water met her face.

Seeing this, Elby giggled slightly to himself. "Good job, Feebas, good job. I knew I could trust you." he said triumphantly.

Shades growled, but relented. "Fine, just, win the match already, or something." she said, sitting down, silently fuming.

"Enough of this nonsense!" the man shouted, "Show them how it's done, Caterpie! Use the one, the only, the almighty... STRING SHOT!"

The Caterpie quickly abided, focusing all its might as it launched a string at the Feebas, which... slid off, forming a soggy white mess on the ground.

A smile formed on Elby's face. "Excellent work, Feebas. It worked once, let's see it again: use another Splash."

The slimy fish shouted in recognition, flopping on the ground as some more water formed. With one big, last flop, it sent a nice, big glob of water right at the little bug.

"A worthless move for a worthless trainer and his worthless Pokemon!" the man scoffed, "Let's just lower those defenses with a Tail Whip, then, Caterpie!"

...

"...I said use TAIL WHIP, Caterpie!"

...

Looking down, the man finally noticed that his poor little bug was squirming and squeeing, trying its hardest to get up, but not being able to get any grip on the now-wet ground it laid on.

"NO! That's cheating! No fair!" the Baby Whisperer whined, running to his downed companion. "I knew a worthless son like you would be a terrible trainer!" he went on to shout, which was met with a Splash to his face.

"Hey, man, don't diss the Splash." Ruki chimed in, "Moves don't get more legit than that."

Elby was suddenly very confused. "What do you mean by worthless son?" he asked, looking at the ground, seeming somewhat distressed.

"Yes, that's right!" the Baby Whisperer shouted, standing up as he recalled the Caterpie and wiped the water from his face, "I'm your father. Or, was. I knew as soon as you were born, you were a disgrace. A disfigured stick... thing." the man went on, advancing towards Elby, "I couldn't even understand you! Some baby you were. That's when I knew. I knew had to no choice but to abandon you and your mother."

Elby slowly backed up in unison, his face erupting into shock. "What, no... No! That's not true! That's IMPOSSIBLE!" he shouted, falling back on to the edge of the skyscraper roof.

"Search your feelings, you know it to be true." the man... the Baby Whisperer... Mr. Urbaby said, looming over the small child.

"No! NOOOOOOO! You don't even have a tie!" Elby cried, cowering into a fetal position.

"That's enough of that." Shades intervened, punting the man straight over Elby.

"Wha- wait, I mean, woah, what?! You just, he just, but, what!" Elby stuttered out, not exactly ready for yet another shock, "You just killed him! That's not a thing you do!"

"Yeah, yeah. And he was the manly man who abandoned your mother. Whatever." Shades sneered, staring down the wall the man just fell down.

Ruki came now, leaning over the edge. "Wow, yeah, that's quite a drop." she said, whistling. "Anyways, my Pokemon there seems pretty rad now. I mean, the power to control other Pokemon? I figured he was pretty unique, but wow." she went on.

"Oh, yeah." Shades replied, seeming to snap out of a daze, "Go for it. It's probably about time I head back anyways."

"AWESOME," Ruki replied, fist-pumping, "LET'S GO!" With that, she half-heartedly tossed the backpack on Elby's head, heaved him over her shoulder, and took off towards the other edge of the roof, leaping off.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOwhmpf"

Fortunately for the duo, the two landed in a rather large pile of pillows.

"Wait, what, why-" Elby started.

Ruki quickly replied dismissively with "Eh, when that weirdo was so determined to get here, he was driving a pillow delivery truck here, from his work or something I guess, I dunno. He was so crazed he ended up scattering pillows all around this building on accident when we got here."

Elby just kind of stared for a moment, finally coming up with "Well, okay, but... where are we even-"

"BACK TO ADVENTURE!"

Aw yeah, it's time for an ACTUAL NEW CHAPTER! Are you ready for some crazy, quirky fun, where we all laugh at Elby getting beaten up some more?!

Oh. You are?

Really?

Well, damn. You're going to be really disappointed.



"Hmm, maybe if I add some Vanillite flakes..." the light blue-haired mother muttered to herself, when suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Comiiiing!" she yelled, immediately dropping what she was doing and dashing for the door, opening it almost before she even finished calling. Awaiting on the other side was none other than Shades, all by her lonesome. "How can I help you, young lady?" Mrs. Urbaby asked with a smile.

Shades looked up, returning the friendly smile, although something seemed to be bugging her. Regardless, she answered with, "Yes, I'm a friend of Elby's, and--"

"Oh, another one, great to meet you!" Mrs. Urbaby cheered, quickly and forcefully shaking hands with Shades, "He's not around right now, a girl with crazy blue hair ran off with him, but do come in!"

"U-uh, right." Shades responded, a bit taken aback by the mother's sheer... energy. Noticing she also got some sort of sticky pink goop on her hands from the handshake, she stuck out her tongue and shook it off as best she could before stepping inside.

"Ah, to think he's even catching the eye of older girls now!" Mrs. Urbaby thought aloud, letting out a small giggle as she placed her hands on both sides of her face, her eyes glazing over as she got lost in a dreamy haze. "Oh, but enough about that!" she said, snapping to attention, both her cheeks now lathered in the pink goop, "You must be tired, please, have a seat, and you'll no doubt want something to drink, and--"

Shades grabbed Mrs. Urbaby by the sleeve, stopping her in her tracks. "Please, stop." she simply said, "I'm just here to talk to you."

"Why, whatever about?" Mrs. Urbaby asked with that same cheery smile.

"About Mr. Urbaby." Shades went on.

"Oh, yes," Mrs. Urbaby replied, "I'm sorry, but he hasn't been around in a while."

"About the Baby Whisperer." Shades continued.

With that, Mrs. Urbaby's expression turned much more solemn, her smile disappearing as she looked downwards, her eyes once again glazing over as she went somewhat limp, the energy visibly leaving her body. "Yes, I see." she finally answered, her voice now much more monotonous, "You'll want to sit down anyways, then. This may take a while." As the two took a seat at the nearby table, Mrs. Urbaby went on to ask, "So just what is it about him you want to know?" She seemed to already know the answer, but awaited one regardless.

"Just... what did you SEE in that guy?! He's just..." Shades spurted out, thinking on just how to word her feelings, "...ABUSIVE, and CRAZY, and so FICKLE, and... you could just do SO MUCH BETTER!"

Mrs. Urbaby let out a sigh before answering with, "What I saw in him... was a funny, idealistic, and caring man. He's just..." she paused, thinking carefully on her words, "...He's just not one to show it."

"He left you! For the dumbest reason possible! That sure as Hell doesn't sound caring to me, and is probably the least funny thing I've ever heard! If it has something to do with his ideals, those are some !#%$ ideals!" Shades shouted back, putting her hands on the table and standing up, more than a little upset.

"I guess so." Mrs. Urbaby simply replied, now frowning, leaning her head on one hand, and looking to the side.

For a moment, there was silence.

Finally sitting back down, Shades calmed down, going on with, "Look, I'm sorry... but I just really don't understand what you see in him. I met him earlier, and he just... It makes me upset that he'd let you, and even Elby down! I want to understand, but past that, I can't. I just can't."

Mrs. Urbaby let out another sigh. "Yes, I suppose that's perfectly reasonable." she responded, leaning back in her chair, now, thinking, "If you're really that interested, I could tell you the story of how we met. It's a long one, though."

"Yes! Please do!" Shades shouted, now a combination of excited and flustered.



Well, it aaaaall started when we were kids. About Elby's age, actually. We were both in school, and he had just moved here from Unova. I was with my usual circle of friends; we called ourselves the Nine. There were only four of us, but... I wasn't very good at counting when we first met. Haven't seen them in a long while. That's not the point, though--it was recess, we were all outside, and he was off by his lonesome. Might be because he just moved there, but he was pretty anti-social. My friends had the wonderful idea of throwing things at him. I was happy to just watch and laugh. One of them figured I should take a shot at it. Figured it was only right, since I was kind of a leader of sorts of our little group. So, well... I picked up a rock and... it pegged him right in the head. Pretty hard, too.

Wait, YOU threw a rock at HIM? Well, he probably had it coming, was probably a jerk at his old school.

My, my, someone seems a bit biased, hehehe. But yeah, we certainly weren't the nicest kids, and my rock certainly sent him for a loop. My friends cheered me on when he fell down, but I already felt a tinge of guilt... Aw, who am I kidding, I was a pretty terrible kid, I was probably just afraid I was going to get in trouble. And boy, did I. He had to be hospitilized. I was suspended for a week, and my parents forced me to visit him at the hospital.

It was quite something when I did, too--when they brought me to his room, he was missing and everyone was all worried. We eventually found him in the nursery. He was sitting next to a baby, listening to it babble on in baby-speak, nodding and looking as if he were listening intently. When the nurse accompanying us asked what he was doing, he told him "Oh, just listening to this little guy's thoughts on life." Then the baby made some more noises, and he added on, "Oh, and he's going to need a new diaper soon."

Needless to say, they were a bit confused and didn't really believe him. Despite that, though, the nurse took off the baby's diaper, and, well, then the baby peed on the nurse. He and I both had a good laugh at that as the nurse ran out to clean himself. Good times. At that point, my parents nudged me towards him, telling my to make my apology. "Sorry for throwing a rock at you and making you fall down and stuff." I told him.

I still remember his response, too, "Oh, that was you? Well, no big deal, school was pretty boring anyways. Plus, I wouldn't have met this little guy if not for that!"

So he forgave you just like that?

Just like that. I told my parents we could leave then, but they nudged me towards him again, still not happy. In a huff, I walked over and stood on the opposite side of the baby he was talking to earlier. "He says you're awful pretty, you know." he told me.

"What?" I asked, "Who does?"

"The baby." he responded.

"That's gross!" I whined in response, "He's, like, a baby! He shouldn't think I'm pretty!"

That made him laugh. "Well, it was more like he said your hair's shiny, but I figured that's close enough." he explained.

"What do you mean?" I went on to ask, "Are you saying I'm pretty?" I rolled my eyes at the thought.

His content demeanor vanished at that point, and he looked away nervously before replying, "U-um, I mean, I guess, maybe a little..."

It was my turn to laugh that time. "You're kind of pretty yourself, you know." I went on. I'd like to say I was teasing him, but I'm fairly certain I just didn't fully understand the word "pretty." Regardless, this only served to make him more nervous, and he just fell silent. My parents decided that was a good time for me to leave, seeming to be holding back a bit of laughter themselves as they pulled me away. "See you at school, pretty boy!" I called from the closing door.

And see him at school I did. My suspension ended just as he got out of the hospital, apparently, as we both returned on the same day. I tried to bring him into my circle of friends, but he always just nervously stayed silent, and they'd always make fun of him, so it didn't really work out. On the walk home from school that day, though, I saw him. With none of my friends with me, I ran over and talked to him.

After some quick greetings, I asked him, "Why were you talking with that baby, anyways?"

"Well, it wasn't so much talking as just listening, really." he told me, "I did it because apparently no one else does. Trying to talk to someone, only for them to ignore you... It's horrible. So I figured someone has to."

"But... they're babies!" was my only response.

"I guess so." he flatly replied, "They really do have some cool ways of seeing things that no one else does, though."

I was more than a bit confused at that point. "They just go 'pbbbbbbbbbt' and cry all the time, though! How's that a cool way of seeing anything?" I went on to ask.

"Not if you listen. Like, listen really hard. It's not really like talking, but... I don't know what else to call it." he explained.

"That's just weird." I responded with a laugh, "Well, if you like babies so much, why don't you make one?"

"Well... I think you need a boy and a girl for that." he went on to say, seeming pretty unsure of himself.

"Then we could make one!" I cheered back.

"I don't think that'd work. I'm pretty sure you have to be old." he went on.

"I'll hold you to it, then!" I continued, teasingly poking him in the side, "Don't forget!"

And with that, I ran off towards my house. Over the years, I found less and less time for my circle of friends, and more and more time for him. That conversation never really came up again, though. We never really even considered each other boyfriend and girlfriend or anything.

However, there was one day, not long after we were both out of school, both being no older than 19. I dragged him along to a bar, since he had apparently never been to one before. It wasn't even 20 minutes in before he was pretty drunk, and he turned towards me, grabbed me by the shoulers with an incredibly worried expression, and told me, "!#%$! I forgot!"

"Forgot what?" I asked him, being legitimately confused.

"That thing I promised way back when! You threw a rock at me, and then, some sage peed on someone, and I promised something! What the Hell was it?!" he went on to explain, seeming legitimately panicked.

It took me a second, but... well, if this conversation isn't any indication, I did remember. I remembered quite well. "I... said we'd make a baby." I said, a bit hesitant.

"!#%$! That's right! I promised, I did! How long has it been?! Has it expired?!" he went on, now looking around for a clock or something, as if that would tell him.

"No," I said with a laugh, "no, it hasn't." I raised an eyebrow at him, smirking, before I went on with, "Why? Did you want to make one now?"

"Of course!" he went on, as if it'd be ridiculous to imply anything.

"Alright." I simply said, getting up, grabbing him by the arm, and walking out.

"Wait. Where are we going?" he asked, now seeming legitimately confused.

"We have to hurry. It's going to expire soon, after all." I told him.

And then, well.

I held him to it.



"And that's the story." Mrs. Urbaby finished, leaning backwards, staring into the air, a dreamy look on her face.

Shades had her own eyebrows raised, not quite sure how to respond to that at first. Finally, though, she spoke up with, "So, he... left you?"

And thus, the dreamy look vanished. "Yes." she said. "When Elby was born, he couldn't understand him at all. It made him incredibly panicked, and he wasn't drunk that time. He fled out of the hospital... out of the window, even. I've never seen him since."

Shades frowned, then stood up. "I'm sorry, but I still don't understand." she said, heading for the door.

"No, I suppose I shouldn't expect you to." Mrs. Urbaby relented, gaining a frown of her own, "I shouldn't expect anyone to."

As Shades opened the door, she stopped in the doorway, looking over her shoulder. "I'm sorry." she said.

"It's fine." Mrs. Urbaby assured Shades, watching the door close. She stared at her hands, noticing the pink goop for the first time before repeating,

"It's fine..."

Wow what the !#%$ did I just read

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