Dashed Expectations

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 9:04 pm 
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((OOC: It's been quite some time! I figured I'd do another one, but not 50. That number was just too gosh darn high! So I've shortened it to 20 this time around. It'll be easier for me to write, and even easier for you to read! Let's get to it, then!))

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1. Binx's passing is the closest thing I ever came to suicidal thoughts

Let's start off with something morbid that I can hardly believe myself. Yes, the death of my cat made me want to leave too. It's just so hard accepting that the only consistent living being in your life is no longer with you. Combine that with my own personal loneliness and you can probably see why these past few months have given me into despair.

I just wanted the emotional pain to go away. Every night for at least a month I cried to sleep. Even now, these attacks still occasionally happen. And in the back of my mind, all I could think of was "Is he somewhere waiting for me?" I really desperately wanted to know, but death was the only way to find out... Obviously, I never went through with it, but the temptation was there.

The worst part was that I never talked to anyone about this. That's generally a terrible idea, I know, but I guess I really didn't want people to worry. In hindsight, this was doing more harm than good since people genuinely want you to avoid that slippery slope, but the temptation was real.

Thankfully, I feel more in control of myself. I still hope that, perhaps, his spirit is lingering by, just waiting for me to join him in eternal rest.

He was my best friend, after all. If there is an afterlife, we will find each other. I'm certain of that! With that said...


2. I keep Binx's favourite toy right next to me

This toy was a handmade one done by my mother and sisters. It was supposed to look like a candy cane, just in time for Christmas, but they never did get the red part on it. So it's just a white cane. Regardless, it served its purpose. Binx loved this thing in life. So much so, you can actually see some tearing on it where he bit the most.

I keep it next to my bed, if not on my bed, every night. It's actually not unheard of from other grieving pet owners. It's a coping mechanism. It keeps him close...


3. I often favor a product due to an animal theme

My bias knows no bounds. Despite the nice things Google Chrome offers, I still stubbornly stick with FireFox. And my choice of deodorant looks like this. My bathroom toilet paper brand of choice is Royale, I've got a clock with various cat breeds on it...

Notice a constant here? My purchase intent can be swayed if there is any sort of animal theme to it. Well, assuming the animal is actually something I have a vested interest in, of course. I even bought a pair of shoes simply because of the word Falcon! They had no falcon symbolism on them. It's just the brand name! I never would've thought animals would sway my opinion...


4. I have a keen intrigue to animal transformation

And then it got creepy. But hey, ever wonder why I really like to focus on Pokémon Mystery Dungeon even though I know the games for the most part are pretty rubbish? Like, they are just light Roguelikes with not that much gameplay to them, but I love the franchise anyway.

But with the knowledge that I like animal shapeshifting, especially if it is forced ala polymorphing, it all makes sense that I only played PMD for one reason only, and also when I was vaguely interested in DnD, I wanted to be a druid. And I must specify that it has to be animals. Not inanimate objects, not transgender, not even a simple personality change! Outright animal metamorphing! I think it's the idea that I think it'd be interesting to see things from their eyes. How do they live? Eat? Breathe? It's intriguing to me.

It almost borders on sexual fetishism, but never goes too far.


5. Childhood books: Choose Your Own Adventure & Animorphs

And with that thought, books! I don't believe I went into too much detail before, but I did read a few series books growing up, mostly for required reading, but a couple really stood out to me.

Firstly is Choose Your Own Adventure, which were more more subdued than most books, only going as far as 114 pages, and you don't even need to read all of them either, so they were good for short sessions. What made them appeal to me is often what draws me to certain games too: I get to be the protagonist! They were written in the rare 2nd-Person where the narrator describes things as if you were there, using "you" and "your" and other similar words often to literally put you in the story. While some books would have a protagonist that's so bland as an attempt to let readers put themselves in the character's place, these books didn't shy away from that and simply said "Screw it, you're the protagonist now!" But beyond that, its gimmick was that, every once and a while, you'd be given different options that would change the entire outcome of the story, and you needed to turn to a specific page to see the outcome. It could end right there, or continue on. These books were full of multiple endings, encouraging multiple readings! My personal favourite was Search the Amazon, which had you traveling with your famous biologist grandfather to find out why the pink dolphins were disappearing. My first ending actually involved finding the dolphins were smuggled by some sort of terrorist group (who also kidnapped my father) and with the help of a shoe-shine boy, we freed the dolphins, saved my grandpa, and got the eco-terrorists arrested. I think I attach myself mostly to this one because, at the time of reading, I had lost my grandfather on my father's side so, much like Binx, it was a form of closure, I suppose.

For a more dedicated series, I got into Animorphs. If you have been fully reading this list up to this point, you should already know why this series immediately appealed to me. The initial premise, kids that could turn into any animal they touched, was enough to get me going, but what I did not expect was a massive alien invasion and the scary realities and responsibilities that come with being one of only 5 (later 6) against an entire legion on Earth. Despite being a sci-fi kids book, it was surprisingly down to Earth and kind of real. They were told from a first-person perspective (the protagonist would change between the heroes every book) and they would never say their last name, just in case the enemy happened to be reading this (until the very last book). I kinda regret never finishing it. Maybe I should look into getting the full set and finally seeing how everything turned out...

Then, of course, there was the Reese's Peanut Butter Cuffs combo that happened where there was a Choose Your Own Adventure styled Animorphs book. Now that was fun, though it was much more linear than traditional CYOA books. Still, I got to be a ferret so it was fine.


6. Favourite Season: Spring

Everybody has a favourite, right? I choose Spring! The reasons are simple: Winter is ending, and thus, all that miserable cold and snow is going away (I know, as a Canadian, I probably shouldn't complain about snow and cold) but it's not so hot that I am constantly in need of a fan. Insects are also still in rather short supply so I won't get bugged by them buzzing around my face until closer to Summer (Autumn is similar, but I've had too many bad experiences with bees acting stupid at this time of year for me to praise it). And you know, seeing green leaves is just so nice to see.

That's about it, really.


7. Fear of flying and heights

Dogs aren't my only fear. I also don't like to be up in the air for extended periods of time. At least, not without me being in control. I'm not exactly sure what triggered this fear. All I know is that I often shake pretty badly when I am in an uncomfortably high spot with no easy way down. I remember being frozen in fear a couple of times as a child when climbing a set of stairs that were outside because I was afraid from falling off them. They were the kind of stairs that had a small little hole you could see through on each step so I was constantly able to look down. I sometimes still have nightmares about those stairs...

I have never been on any sort of flight in my life and I don't plan to any time soon. Even though I know, statistically, being in a plane is much safer than a car, I just can't stand the idea of being up so high with someone else in control. I think if I were piloting, I would feel incredibly comfortable, but knowing that someone else is in control and could mess up to cause us all to die just makes me uncomfortable. I know, the likelyhood of that is astronomically low, but it still gets to me...


8. I am making an honest effort to learn Japanese

Oh yes! I am actually going to try to learn a brand new language! Considering the amount of importing I did, I figured it'd be beneficial to actually learn the language. Granted, right now, it's incredibly basic with things like ねこ はい いいえ etc. and only really have learned some Hiragana, but I am making progress. I also purchased the book "Remember the Kanji" since I had heard it is pretty great.

I don't plan to be fluent in the language, but I'd like to learn enough so that importing becomes less of a wall. Not that it is a huge one currently, but sometimes, JRPGs would be nice to play fully without a translation guide, you know?


9. Rarely gets angry

I can be disappointed, upset, and even mad, but getting legit angry is actually something I rarely do. Like, in order for that to happen, the stress has to build up to incredibly high levels for me to start shouting at just about everything. This is something carried over from my father's side I feel: The vast majority of his family is almost never angry as well whereas I see this quite a bit from my mother's side.

It can have its side effects, however, which I will get into in a bit...


10. Can make local people laugh very easily

I by no means consider myself a comedian, but I do like to make people around me laugh. I guess I just try my best to make sure those around me are always in good spirits so as to raise the overall feeling of the room, the aura if you will. Negative emotions can negatively impact others, after all, so keeping high spirits is a good way to stay productive.

What's interesting though is that I never feel like I'm trying very hard to be funny. I don't know if it's because the people I'm around with are kinda dull-witted and will find even the tiniest thing amusing, or if maybe I'm much funnier than I give myself credit for. What do you think?


11. Sometimes people don't taking seriously

Of course, those last two points are a double-edged sword... Because I rarely let myself get angry and because I like to be funny all the time, whenever things do get serious, nobody reacts in the way that I want them too. Maybe it's just how I word things, or maybe it's my voice, but I often get a laugh when I want sympathy. The worst of it was when Binx was dying and I still got a chuckle out of my grandparents! My mother told me this was just a coping mechanism since everyone deals with grief differently, but wow did that really freaking hurt. I get this at work too. If something is frustrating me to the point of anger, I get a giggle from others as well. I would often ask what's so funny and the usual response is that, well, they never see me angry so they don't know how to respond.

Seriously, it's very annoying!


12. Prefers Sci-Fi over Fantasy

Surprised I never did include this one before, but yes, more space operas, less elves and dwarves for me personally. It's a little something I noticed in my immediate family. While most prefer older stuff in a more fantastical world, I prefer space operas and big spaceships and lasers, etc. All a manner of taste, really.


13. Has ears and tail for recreational use

Remember last time? I admitted to being a furry. I don't want a whole suit though. That just looks way too hot and...creepy to boot. Seriously, those unmoving eyes and mouths just give me the willies...

That being said, I did snag a pair of ears and a tail for when I'm just going about my business. Makes me feel more "me" y'know? Am I weird? I'm weird, aren't I?

I almost accidentally came to work with my tail too. That would've been embarrassing... Haven't worn it as much, now that I think about it.


14. Used to love watching sports but stopped when home team didn't smarten up

Ah sports... That thing people do for huge money while other people watch. For a while, I was a fan of sports too. It was exciting to watch since you didn't know how'd everything come out in the end. That's kind of the point, really, but I digress.

However, the team I had been watching for most of my life continued to disappoint and disappoint with failures, eventually getting to the point where they weren't even good enough to compete in the playoffs. It was around this point I decided not to get worked up over these things anymore and stopped watching them altogether.

I don't even watch eSports! I don't want to get into that zone anymore...


15. My "rebelious teenage phase" was simply being lazy

Oh baby, I'm a bad man! But seriously, that was the extent of it. Some teens will where a style of clothing outside the norm, some would take up underaged drinking and smoking, some would flat out just run away...

But me, I just acted like a sloth and didn't give a care about anything. It was a sort of "Man, who cares? Is any of this gonna matter anyway?" kind of mentality that went through my head at the time. Nothing really exciting, I know, but it was very different from how I ended up now.


16. When picking radio stations, I actually choose talk radio

Another reason I never get to choose radio stations outside of "listening to classical music" is that I would choose stations with no music at all! I'm not sure what it is, but listening to talk shows and hearing opinions just felt more engaging to me than bopping heads to music. Or maybe they were less headache inducing, I dunno...

This has reflected in me now listening to more podcasts as of late as opposed to songs.


17. My body is very flexible

Like, Morph Ball levels kind of flexible! Even at 28, I can still curl my body quite a lot! Not for long, mind you, but it's possible!

Make of that what you will...


18. Owns several different board games...despite living alone

I love board games. Love 'em! But I rarely get to play them because, more often then not, you actually need multiple people to play them. I always buy them in the hopes that, maybe someday, I will get to play them with others...but it never happens.

The closest thing was when I hosted those Apples to Apples games with you guys, but I never really did "play" that, did I?


19. Incredibly shy in real life

I think a big problem with a lot of what is wrong with me includes this. I am just shy! Some of you guys might already know about this too. Remember when we used to play Magicka? That was the first time I got on Vent with you guys and I didn't talk at all using it...because I was shy. I remember even Falc saying "Aw, come on, don't be shy" or something to that extent. But I couldn't help it! It's a personality defect!

And it has haunted me all of my life. A good reason I don't have friends, or dates, or anything really is because I am not outgoing at all. And even if someone were to come up to me, I'd probably do my best to ignore them because I just don't know how to talk to people. It's a serious problem that I would love to fix someday, if only for some sort of companionship...

...also my board games would stop collecting dust...

I even bought a friggin' pen-and-paper RPG book...


20. One time set up his own "space station" inside his room

Kids have quite the imagination, don't they? I remember setting up my room in such a way using props and toys to make it look like, in my mind, a bridge on a spaceship! My toys were crew members with various different objects being a different device, such as an old Polaroid camera being used as a sort of hailing device. And if something wasn't sufficient enough, I'd draw it! It was good fun back then...

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((OOC: And that should about do it. Have fun!))

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 04, 2015 4:03 pm 
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The Great B-Man wrote:
1. Binx's passing is the closest thing I ever came to suicidal thoughts

Let's start off with something morbid that I can hardly believe myself. Yes, the death of my cat made me want to leave too. It's just so hard accepting that the only consistent living being in your life is no longer with you. Combine that with my own personal loneliness and you can probably see why these past few months have given me into despair.

I just wanted the emotional pain to go away. Every night for at least a month I cried to sleep. Even now, these attacks still occasionally happen. And in the back of my mind, all I could think of was "Is he somewhere waiting for me?" I really desperately wanted to know, but death was the only way to find out... Obviously, I never went through with it, but the temptation was there.

The worst part was that I never talked to anyone about this. That's generally a terrible idea, I know, but I guess I really didn't want people to worry. In hindsight, this was doing more harm than good since people genuinely want you to avoid that slippery slope, but the temptation was real.

Thankfully, I feel more in control of myself. I still hope that, perhaps, his spirit is lingering by, just waiting for me to join him in eternal rest.

He was my best friend, after all. If there is an afterlife, we will find each other. I'm certain of that!

As someone who has also lost a pet, I can sympathize with you. But don't ever let a pet influence you to suicide. At the risk of sounding insensitive, there's a lot more to people's lives than their pets. What about your family? I'm sure they wouldn't want you to go.

What's important is that Binx provided you with years upon years of happiness. Don't let his passing outweigh the good in his life.

The Great B-Man wrote:
2. I keep Binx's favourite toy right next to me

This toy was a handmade one done by my mother and sisters. It was supposed to look like a candy cane, just in time for Christmas, but they never did get the red part on it. So it's just a white cane. Regardless, it served its purpose. Binx loved this thing in life. So much so, you can actually see some tearing on it where he bit the most.

I keep it next to my bed, if not on my bed, every night. It's actually not unheard of from other grieving pet owners. It's a coping mechanism. It keeps him close...

Hm.

On the polar opposite side, when my pet died, I still had his cage in my room the first night after. During the night, my bed made noises I had long assumed to be coming from the cage. ...It was a little creepy, and it kept me up.

...I'm not sure what point I intended to make by telling you that.

The Great B-Man wrote:
9. Rarely gets angry

I can be disappointed, upset, and even mad, but getting legit angry is actually something I rarely do. Like, in order for that to happen, the stress has to build up to incredibly high levels for me to start shouting at just about everything. This is something carried over from my father's side I feel: The vast majority of his family is almost never angry as well whereas I see this quite a bit from my mother's side.

*has a flashback to your Torture Day on the old forum*

Anyway, I'm curious: how do you distinguish "mad" and "angry"? I find them to mean the same thing.

The Great B-Man wrote:
13. Has ears and tail for recreational use

That being said, I did snag a pair of ears and a tail for when I'm just going about my business. Makes me feel more "me" y'know? Am I weird? I'm weird, aren't I?

Yeah, you're weird.

But isn't everybody?

The Great B-Man wrote:
17. My body is very flexible

Like, Morph Ball levels kind of flexible! Even at 28, I can still curl my body quite a lot! Not for long, mind you, but it's possible!

Make of that what you will...

So, are you able to replicate all of the yoga poses exactly in Wii Fit? ...Because I can't.

The Great B-Man wrote:
18. Owns several different board games...despite living alone

I love board games. Love 'em! But I rarely get to play them because, more often then not, you actually need multiple people to play them. I always buy them in the hopes that, maybe someday, I will get to play them with others...but it never happens.

The closest thing was when I hosted those Apples to Apples games with you guys, but I never really did "play" that, did I?

That reminds me: I got my own Apples to Apples kit thanks to those games. Maybe I should host a game here sometime.

The Great B-Man wrote:
19. Incredibly shy in real life

I think a big problem with a lot of what is wrong with me includes this. I am just shy! Some of you guys might already know about this too. Remember when we used to play Magicka? That was the first time I got on Vent with you guys and I didn't talk at all using it...because I was shy. I remember even Falc saying "Aw, come on, don't be shy" or something to that extent. But I couldn't help it! It's a personality defect!

And it has haunted me all of my life. A good reason I don't have friends, or dates, or anything really is because I am not outgoing at all. And even if someone were to come up to me, I'd probably do my best to ignore them because I just don't know how to talk to people. It's a serious problem that I would love to fix someday, if only for some sort of companionship...

...also my board games would stop collecting dust...

I even bought a friggin' pen-and-paper RPG book...

Hey, I'm really shy in real life too. I can relate. Maybe it's something we can work on together.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2015 4:03 pm 
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Pikmanipulator wrote:
As someone who has also lost a pet, I can sympathize with you. But don't ever let a pet influence you to suicide. At the risk of sounding insensitive, there's a lot more to people's lives than their pets. What about your family? I'm sure they wouldn't want you to go.

What's important is that Binx provided you with years upon years of happiness. Don't let his passing outweigh the good in his life.


((OOC: That's the thing when depression really gets to you; You start thinking irrationally. I know about all that stuff you mentioned, but let's try to put things into my perspective, okay?

I live alone. I have no friends here. I have no nearby family to talk to. And by nearby, I mean walk. I can go on different social network sites and see family members and friends talk about hanging out with other family members and friends, whilst I wallow here in this empty room with just myself. Even on this forum, it's been getting quieter. You are thus far the only person who responded to this thread. Compare this with the other thread I did for factoids and it got a much better response. Even this forums recent quietness makes me feel more alone here.

When I lost Binx, I was entering a point where it honestly felt like to me that everyone was trying to stay away for one reason or not. I'd go visit people myself but I can't drive. Binx was literally the only constant companionship I had where I didn't have to feel like I was practically begging just to talk my feelings out.

So you see where the thoughts came from? They've passed now, but I was in a massive slum. It's the unfortunate side effect of being a recluse.))


Pikmanipulator wrote:
*has a flashback to your Torture Day on the old forum*

Anyway, I'm curious: how do you distinguish "mad" and "angry"? I find them to mean the same thing.


((OOC: Anger for me is usually when it gets close to being outright violent with shouting involved. I can get mad without raising my voice and slamming my fists and keeping a level head. Outright anger where I do my best to sound intimidating is pretty dang rare.

Torture thread was fairly close, hence why I went for a walk after I got so annoyed. Usually, clearing your head helps.))


Pikmanipulator wrote:
So, are you able to replicate all of the yoga poses exactly in Wii Fit? ...Because I can't.


((OOC: Yep. Actually, I'd say I'm better at Yoga poses than I am at the Strength exercises. I've put it away though simply due to how tiny this area is and I just can't be bothered to move furniture around solely for exercise activities.))

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 12:59 pm 
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The Great B-Man wrote:
((OOC: Even on this forum, it's been getting quieter. You are thus far the only person who responded to this thread. Compare this with the other thread I did for factoids and it got a much better response. Even this forums recent quietness makes me feel more alone here.))

I see.

...We really ought to have a game night one of these days.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 3:22 pm 
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The Great B-Man wrote:
((OOC: Even on this forum, it's been getting quieter. You are thus far the only person who responded to this thread. Compare this with the other thread I did for factoids and it got a much better response. Even this forums recent quietness makes me feel more alone here.))


Yeah, it kinda sucks how quiet the forums have become after I ruined them. I had bigger ideas, a more long term solution with some new member influx, and I wanted the forum to look more presentable. Let's be honest, the forum as it was earlier was a bit...not good. Had that mid-2000s feel to it.

Oh well. What with work and always being as tired as a dog, I'm barely able to keep up with the rp stuff I've foolishly taken on. I know for a fact the other guys see the threads too because they bring them up in the chat occasionally. That's the problem. When they bring them up, they say anything they would have posted, and probably don't feel the need to post anything because of it. That's obviously not the case, but it's hard to convince someone otherwise. It's probably just routine for people at this point, to not post but comment elsewhere about the threads,

Hah, but what do I know. I'm a jerk.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 6:36 pm 
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((OOC: Now I'm not sure what to think. If everyone is reading these, why can't they just make a one second post? I've definitely seen big enough discussions on Skype that could very easily be placed here. It's worse because I see people log in and I get a tiny bit excited, as sad as it sounds. I see someone log in, I wonder what they are going to post and...I don't see anything.

I feel like I've done absolutely everything I humanly can. I've even gone as far as bribe people using the trivia thread, and it still didn't work! I can't be on Skype all the time, nor is Skype enough to really pour out everything I need to say. And even then, Skype often ends up in a point where nobody says a damned thing anyway, despite being online. They just don't say a word.

This has legitimately upset me. Do I even have friends anymore, I wonder? Maybe that's an extreme thought, but I find interests are rarely shared. How am I supposed to connect? There are exceptions of course, like with Monster Hunter and FFXIV. It's great fun, but other than that? I dunno, maybe I'm just getting lost...))

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 7:49 pm 
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Mecha wrote:
Yeah, it kinda sucks how quiet the forums have become after I ruined them. I had bigger ideas, a more long term solution with some new member influx, and I wanted the forum to look more presentable. Let's be honest, the forum as it was earlier was a bit...not good. Had that mid-2000s feel to it.

Oh well. What with work and always being as tired as a dog, I'm barely able to keep up with the rp stuff I've foolishly taken on. I know for a fact the other guys see the threads too because they bring them up in the chat occasionally. That's the problem. When they bring them up, they say anything they would have posted, and probably don't feel the need to post anything because of it. That's obviously not the case, but it's hard to convince someone otherwise. It's probably just routine for people at this point, to not post but comment elsewhere about the threads,

Hah, but what do I know. I'm a jerk.

Ah, I guess that's why I'm one of the more frequent posters now; because I don't attend the chat.

...Now I'm wondering what's been said about my threads...

The Great B-Man wrote:
((OOC: Now I'm not sure what to think. If everyone is reading these, why can't they just make a one second post? I've definitely seen big enough discussions on Skype that could very easily be placed here. It's worse because I see people log in and I get a tiny bit excited, as sad as it sounds. I see someone log in, I wonder what they are going to post and...I don't see anything.

I feel like I've done absolutely everything I humanly can. I've even gone as far as bribe people using the trivia thread, and it still didn't work! I can't be on Skype all the time, nor is Skype enough to really pour out everything I need to say. And even then, Skype often ends up in a point where nobody says a damned thing anyway, despite being online. They just don't say a word.

This has legitimately upset me. Do I even have friends anymore, I wonder? Maybe that's an extreme thought, but I find interests are rarely shared. How am I supposed to connect? There are exceptions of course, like with Monster Hunter and FFXIV. It's great fun, but other than that? I dunno, maybe I'm just getting lost...))

I think you should calm down a bit. My computer automatically logs me into Skype whenever I turn it on, even when I have no intention of using it. Nobody's purposely ignoring you.

That said, I think a game night would be a great opportunity to get some of us to interact with each other. What say we revive that old thread, eh?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:25 pm 
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I've been trying to make an effort to post more, but, I just so rarely have anything to say. My contribution to a conversation is typically to just listen intently to anything (and everything) other people have to say, but that doesn't come across so well online, as you can imagine, it's why I've basically trained myself to often times respond with generic things like "sounds good" and such all the time in chats, just as a measure to show that I am paying attention, but that doesn't translate so well to a forum environment. I have been training myself to post more even when I feel I don't have much to say, but yes.

And as for Skype chat, it's just a matter of schedule conflicts, which has always been an issue, but has gotten even worse lately. Anhs is at work until like midnight and tends to fall asleep pretty much as soon as he gets home save on weekends (on which he's sometimes busy as well, though), Yokuba's around a good amount but also has work (and tends to randomly have to leave multiple times during the night for various reasons when it almost seems like something might happen), Falcon tends to ignore Skype chat a lot in favor of whatever MMORPG he's playing (although he also has been complaining about his work lately, and had his car break down recently, so that's assuredly a thing), Mecha in particular has been falling asleep a lot because his work's apparently been nuts lately, and, that pretty much covers everyone who I'd say shows up regularly. There's also Steg, I suppose, who kind of shows up as he pleases since he certainly has a life of his own, Moogle kind of shows up just as sporadically on Skype as he does on the forum here, and Raxy I know's apparently pretty active on Twitter but has just been dealing with her own life problems, and has thus been around very rarely, so yes, everything's apparently a bit of a mess.

I'm always here though. ):
Unless I'm asleep. Which, has been an issue some times, simply because I never know when to expect anything to happen anymore, as it's basically a total crapshoot as for when people will be around and willing to do something (especially since half the time people just say they're "up for things," but nobody suggests anything specific, so they just sit around doing nothing until they fall asleep or leave, I'd suggest things myself more, but I never know what people's schedules permit and most the time people end up having opinions on what they want to do despite saying they're up for anything).


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:58 pm 
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((OOC: I appreciate taking the time to make a response, thank you. I've digested what I could and, from what I gathered, it really sounds like everyone has been having their own fair share of problems as of late that prevents them from doing, well, anything in general from what it sounds like. Work schedule, issues with certain individuals...

Certainly puts my own problems in perspective, which is nothing more than "I have nobody to talk to." I find it's still a big issue, but compared to you guys, it sounds pretty miniscule in comparison. I do wish to see others more, but at least I can fully understand now why it's just been the way it has been. At least, for most.

There are still people that have just plum disappeared without a trace. Has anyone seen Super Penguin, just as one example? It's slowly becoming like some sort of ghost town or something here.))

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 07, 2015 2:49 pm 
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I feel as though people will eventually drift further and further away, checking the forum less and less while new interests take the place of the forum. It has happened to all of us, I'm sure, at one point or another. There's just nothing to, like...interact with, I guess?

There are threads where there are cool or interesting things to look at, like the constant video game updates B puts out over on the entertainment thread, and the Whoogle thread, but like. I read them, nod my head and say "That was an interesting factoid/I'm glad I know this thing about this update/Huh, that was pretty neat." And I never post anything because I don't have anything to add.

We need more interactive threads, more reasons to draw people into posting more often. The more threads they post in, the more likely people are going to hang around to see what someone else responds to whatever etc.

Hell if I know what would draw people back into posting though.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 2:52 pm 
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The Great B-Man wrote:
((OOC: There are still people that have just plum disappeared without a trace. Has anyone seen Super Penguin, just as one example? It's slowly becoming like some sort of ghost town or something here.))
Good god, I didn't notice that at all. I swore I saw him on the site recently. You could probably even say this site has been becoming a ghost town since the beginning, since some previously active members just outright disappeared as early as 2008.
Pikmanipulator wrote:
I think you should calm down a bit. My computer automatically logs me into Skype whenever I turn it on, even when I have no intention of using it. Nobody's purposely ignoring you.

That said, I think a game night would be a great opportunity to get some of us to interact with each other. What say we revive that old thread, eh?
Yeah honestly, I agree, a game night could help. and I also agree that you should probably not take this to heart so much, B, though I get why.
Mecha wrote:
I feel as though people will eventually drift further and further away, checking the forum less and less while new interests take the place of the forum. It has happened to all of us, I'm sure, at one point or another. There's just nothing to, like...interact with, I guess?

There are threads where there are cool or interesting things to look at, like the constant video game updates B puts out over on the entertainment thread, and the Whoogle thread, but like. I read them, nod my head and say "That was an interesting factoid/I'm glad I know this thing about this update/Huh, that was pretty neat." And I never post anything because I don't have anything to add.

We need more interactive threads, more reasons to draw people into posting more often. The more threads they post in, the more likely people are going to hang around to see what someone else responds to whatever etc.

Hell if I know what would draw people back into posting though.
It's really this, there's no other way to really put it about how the forum is what it is now. Along with how sometimes, I don't know what to add either and that's probably an issue for everyone too, understandably so.

Elby pretty much summed up why everyone else isn't active, though having talked to Kiyoshi recently, I believe he's in a new college and looking for job plus band. Not sure about anyone else really. My issue is pretty much a variety of things from family, friends, personal issues, work, trying to get into graduate school and finish up my undergraduate, funds, other job attempts and so on. My time is pretty much strapped these days, I've only found free time for games recently and YouTube as well. But I'm usually always on Skype since I have it on my phone and other computers, the latter of which I need for everything for the most part.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 7:19 pm 
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Elby wrote:
and Raxy I know's apparently pretty active on Twitter but has just been dealing with her own life problems, and has thus been around very rarely, so yes, everything's apparently a bit of a mess.


I also don't kinda just stopped looking at the skype chat cause it never feels like anyones talking about anything I have much say in anymore, between dotas, and dnd things.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 11:30 pm 
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Raxy wrote:
Elby wrote:
and Raxy I know's apparently pretty active on Twitter but has just been dealing with her own life problems, and has thus been around very rarely, so yes, everything's apparently a bit of a mess.


I also don't kinda just stopped looking at the skype chat cause it never feels like anyones talking about anything I have much say in anymore, between dotas, and dnd things.

This is also a thing for me and Skype.

For me, I've actually been intentionally limiting my internet usage because for a long time it had been practically an addition that kept me from accomplishing anything. The majority of my online time for a good chunk of my life was forums and youtube videos, and after being convicted of how much time I waste on them and my general lack of any sort of progress in life goals and whatnot, I had to cut it out. Every month I take a week off the internet to kinda recalibrate my perspective on life, and although that doesn't always happen, I do usually feel more mentally grounded from the disconnect.

That's not to say I consider spending time with you guys "a waste of time." But to put it into perspective, I've gotten better jobs, become closer to God, and have found many new friends since I shifted more attention away from the internet. It's less of a matter of "I don't like these people anymore" and more a realization that my immense focus on online pursuits were distracting me from the things I should be doing.

Aside from that, I dunno, I guess I've always kinda felt a little less connected to you guys as time went on, regardless of how much I communicated. Like others, I don't usually have much to say, either because the subject is something that doesn't interest me, or because the extent of my reply would simply be "cool."

In any case B, speaking from experience, I definitely and wholly encourage you to find a group of like-minded people somewhere. I had a long extent of my life where my only friends were online, as most of my IRL friends had moved on with their lives, only I had my older brother to hang out as well as the rest of my siblings and parents if needed, and God if all else fails, while you are wholly alone. Even with what I had I often felt lonely, because humans are social creatures. It's not bad to have online friends, but if those are your only friends, then you have no source of physical socializing, and that's dangerous for anyone.

We weren't created for singular lives, even if some of us are really introverted (which I am). For me, I found a group of guys at my Church who meet regularly for Bible Study, which has become a backbone of my spiritual and social life. I also found a meetup group for animators in Houston, which is probably the single easiest group to connect to I've ever met, simply because they have such similar interests to me. Meeting people with different backgrounds but common interests has proven to be a very worthwhile experience. And don't worry about it being awkward. Every meeting is awkward. Most of my relations to others have been awkward because that's pretty much how I am, but I've found that the more you keep that awkwardness from letting you meet people, the more awkward you become, and in time, you learn to loosen up, but only through practice.

I know, you probably weren't asking for advice on this kind of thing. It's not my place, nor is it my business, but I hope you at least consider it.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 11:34 am 
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I mean, I have RL friends, and also other groups of friends online. I was just talking about the F6 skype group.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 8:01 pm 
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FSLAR wrote:
Yeah honestly, I agree, a game night could help. and I also agree that you should probably not take this to heart so much, B, though I get why.

Alternatively, we could try coming up with a new RP to participate in. Maybe another Pokemon one?


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