Dashed Expectations

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2015 10:52 am 
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Sometimes I do that, but I usually type in the lazier phrase "what now".


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2015 9:07 am 
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Location: Lively Town
June 5th

i gave my cat
i gave my cat an enema
i gave my cat too much insulin
i gave my cat away
i gave my cat dog flea medicine
i gave my cat a bath
i gave my cat tylenol
i gave my cat milk
i gave my cat ibuprofen
i gave my cat benadryl
i gave my cat a bath the other day

I try not to pass judgment on people's fetishes, but this one pushes me to my breaking point. Then again, I wonder if someone has bought the url for www.catenema.com?

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 8:33 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
June 6th/7th

i have a b
i have a big head and little arms
i have a balloon
i have a bad feeling about this
i have a big nose
i have a bump on my private
i have a bump on my labia
i have a bad case of diarrhea
i have a big head
i have a bump on my eyelid
i have a bump on my lip

Attention all paleontologists. We now have proof that Tyrannosaurus Rex was capable of using a computer keyboard, despite previous scientific hypotheses to the contrary.

((OOC: We also have further proof of this calendar having lack of research ability, since the Whoogle they're mocking came from a trailer for Meet the Robinsons.))

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 10:16 pm 
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Finally, a reference I know.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2015 11:25 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 8th

i haven't p
i haven't pooped in 3 days
i haven't pooped in a week
i haven't pooped in 5 days
i haven't pooped in 2 days
i haven't pooped in 4 days
i haven't pooped in 2 weeks
i haven't pooped in a month
i haven't pooped in 6 days
i haven't paid my mortgage
i haven't pooped in four days

Two words: Fiber One. Actually, I can think of a lot more than two words. Ex-Lax. All Bra. Metamucil. Enema. Colonoscopy. (Add Taco Bell here, too). If your digestion has slowed to the rate of a menstrual cycle, it's time to go to the hospital, not to Google.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 10:19 pm 
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Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
i just sh
i just shot marvin in the face
i just shot john lennon lyrics
i just sharted
i just !#%$ a big mac
i just shot john lennon
i just shot a bear
i just showed up for my own life lyrics
i just shocked myself
i just shot an elephant in my pajamas
i just shot bill murray

Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions and a sesame seed bun and all. But for some reason, my colon held the fries and the rest of my supersized meal.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 10, 2015 8:10 pm 
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Not that I would've wanted to eat any of it anyway.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 7:57 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 10th

i like b
i like big buttes and i can not lie
i like big buts and ai cant not lie lyrics
i like big but
i like beer lyrics
i like big bibles and i cannot lie
i like bread and butter song
i like beer
i like bananas i think that mangos are sweet
i like birds lyrics
i like bread and butter

Let's be honest with ourselves for a second here. Junk in the trunk I am so-so on, but I really cannot resist big mountains with flat tops.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 7:58 pm 
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Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 11th

i like to eat c
i like to eat cake while excruciating
i like to eat cake in a tub
i like to eat cheese
i like to eat chalk

Is excruciating no longer an adjective? Also on my list of things to occupy my time while excruciating are playing solitaire and knitting a tunic.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2015 12:21 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 12th

i like to eat p
i like to eat poop
i like to eat pie
i like to eat pancakes
i like to eat people from other planets especially yall
i like to eat pepperoni pizza song
i like to eat paper
i like to eat people

Dear Arkansas: Other states are not planets.

((OOC: Dear Whoogle Editor: I know it isn't very good as of late, but watch some of the older Family Guy shows. This is a quote from that series.))

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2015 12:24 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 13th/14th

france is s
france is socialist
france is set to concede that it is aware of an alien presence on earth by no later than friday
france is surrounded by
paris france is southeast of the intersection of
why france is selling warships to russia

Of course they are. France will concede anything if you even look at them funny. Just ask Germany.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 8:52 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 15th

i love to p
i love to pick scabs
i love to piss people off
i love to pick my nose
i love to piss
i love to piss my pants
i love to pieces
i love to pick my scabs
i love to piss outdoors
i love to piss on you
i love to pillow hump

I guess if you love to pick your nose and scabs and also piss on people (not to mention hump their pillows), pissing off people is not much of a stretch.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:53 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 16th

i notice
i noticed you noticing me
i notice lyrics automatic loveletter
i noticed how beautiful the sky was
i noticed how beautiful the sky was the other day
i noticed you're pretty gangster
i notice lyrics
i noticed that your gangster
i noticed your eyes are always glued to me lyrics
i noticed i was on fire

How do you "notice" you are on fire? Being on fire is not something you so nonchalantly recognize. Did Richard Pryor "notice" he was on fire after his freebase pipe exploded?

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 9:26 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 17th

i really hope you get s
i really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight
i really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight youtube
i really hope you get sexually violated by a
i really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight wiki
i really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl quote

Pterodactyls have no !#%$, which makes the threat of sexual assault somewhat pointless. Come to think of it, I have never heard reference to any other dinosaur schlong for that matter. No wonder they went extinct.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 7:05 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 18th

i shat a
i shat a squirrel
i shat a brick
i shat a turd
i shat a brick house
i shat a house
i shat a frozen fish
i shat a turtle
i shat at you
i shat myself at school

There is not amount of Maalox that will ease your gastrointestinal distress if furry-tailed rodents are making an appearance from your colon. Then again, squirrels tend to like being near nuts, so maybe this is not so strange after all.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 10:27 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 19th

i think b
i think bad thoughts
i think bad thoughts lyrics
i think better when i'm not sober
i think bad thoughts danko jones
i think bigfoot is blurry
i think better when i paint
i think betty white is in peta
i think brick killed a guy
i think better at night
i think better with thick chicks with lipstick

The secret of why Oprah has hired Rosie O'Donnell to do a makeover show on the new network is finally revealed.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 11:57 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 20th/21st

can a man pu
can a man purchase plan b
can a man put himself on child support
how much weight can a man pull
how hard can a man punch

A man "putting himself on child support" has a more formal name. He is called "a responsible father."

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2015 12:46 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 22nd

i think cr
i think crab my dog
i think crazy carl is right
i think crazy
i think crabbe has changed the most
i think creative
i think creative at cloud
i think critically therefore i am
i think crazy lyrics
i think critically
i think crossword puzzles

Vanna, I'd like to buy a verb. This grammatical monstrosity makes me wonder if the person Googling was thinking Fido picked up some unwelcome visitors in his crotchular region while sitting on an uncovered public toilet seat at Petsmart.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2015 4:20 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 23rd

i think i am a
i think i am a sociopath
i think i am a witch
i think i am asexual
i think i am a medium
i think i am a bunny
i think i am autistic
i think i am anorexic
i think i am a bad person
i think i am afraid therefore i am afraid
i think i am adopted

Imagine waking up one morning and realizing that you have the ability to mix eye of newt in a cauldron with 11 other herbs and spices and boil Hansel and Gretel. That is one bad acid trip.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2015 3:30 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 24th

i think k
i think kissing is gross
i think kim kardashian is fat
i think kissing is disgusting
i think knox is guilty
i think kant
i think kanjurmarg
i think knives are a good idea
i think kfc
i think katie piper is still beautiful
i think kim kardashian is a man

Poor Reggie Bush. First, they make him give back his Heisman. Then he finds out that he was dating a man with a ginormous ass. And the mystery of Kris Humphries filing for an annulment is suddenly not so mysterious.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2015 9:05 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 26th

i used my
i used my grandma as a skateboard
i used my mom's credit card
i used my parents credit card
i used my mom's vibrator
i used my imagination

It was honestly not bad like you think thought. I just needed something to scramble the eggs so I could bring her breakfast in bed. Besides, I washed it for her when I was finished.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 8:46 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 27th/28th

i want to eat m
i want to eat my girlfriend
i want to eat my cat
i want to eat meat again
i want to eat my friend out
i want to eat my dog
i want eat more
i want to eat my boyfriend
i want to eat myself
i want to eat my children
i want to eat myself to death

This original search came from Kim Jon II before he died. Rumor is, the diminutive ronery dictator also searched for new ways to prepare General Tsao's "chicken," Moo Goo Gai Cat and his all-time favorite, Sweet N' Sour Tabby.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2015 3:24 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 29th

i want to h
i want to hold your hand lyrics
i want to hold your hand
i want to hold your hand chords
i want to have a baby
i want to have an affair
i want to hold your hand beatles
i want to have twins
i want to hear you sad lyrics
i want to hold your hand glee
i want to hold your hand across the universe

Want to know the real reason she's no longer interested in sex? She doesn't have a headache, your OCD partner is just too busy planning procreation on Google. Get her a Whoogles calendar and maybe you'll get to chalk up a victory this month too.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 8:59 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
June 30th

i want to ha
i want to have a baby
i want to have twins
i want to have an affair
i want to have a miscarriage
i want to have intercourse with you
i want to have a baby girl
i want to have a baby boy
i want to have your babies lyrics
i want to have your abortion
i want to have a baby but i'm single

Yeah you, Google. You sexy !#%$, you. You know my secrets, my fears, my questions and you have the answers, you comfort me when I am lonely or afraid. It is definitely time to take our relationship to the next level.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 9:02 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
July 1st

i wish d
i wish daddy didn't drink so much
i wish dmx lyrics
i wish dallas was in tennessee
i wish danity kane lyrics
i wish dmx ft seal lyrics
i wish dreams were like wishes and wishes came true cause in my dreams i'm always with you
i wish download
i wish diarrhea upon you
i wish dragon tales
i wish dmx ft seal

For years I have been forced to resort to Ex Lax brownies and Dulcolax doughnuts to exact gastrointestinal revenge on my enemies. Had I known I could simply wish diarrhea upon them, I would have saved thousands of man-hours in front of the oven.

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