Dashed Expectations

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 11:13 am 
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Location: Lively Town
April 20th

giving birth in a t
giving birth in a tub
giving birth in a taxi
giving birth in a tree
giving birth in a toilet
giving birth in a tank
giving birth in a taxi video
woman giving birth in a toilet
woman giving birth in a tub

My favorite news stories ever: Inevitably, some teenage girl does not realize she is pregnant and is confused when she suddenly !#%$ out a baby. "Hey, offspring, stop doing the backstroke in my toilet and get back in my uterus so I can get back to the rave."

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 3:42 pm 
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Well, there's a story nobody would want to tell anyone. "I was born in a toilet."


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 4:01 pm 
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April 21st

god g
god grant me the serenity prayer
god grant me the serenity
god grew tired of us
god games
god grant me the serenity quote
god gold and glory
god gave rock and roll to you
god give me the serenity
god gave me you dave barnes lyrics
god gene

Taking on God in Scrabble is a nightmare. You can't even begin to question Him on a word, or He will insist that "ZQKJW" is most certainly a word because He is all knowing and will claim He just created it, even though it is not in the dictionary.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 9:21 am 
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Location: Lively Town
April 22nd

god is p
god is perfect bible verse
god is perfect
god is patient
god is pooh bear
god is punishing haiti
god is personal
god is powerful
god is patient god is kind
god is peace
god is present

A little known fact overlooked in most versions of the modern Bible. Just imagine the shock of the recently deceased when they arrive at the pearly gates only to find them being opened by St. Eeyore.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 1:09 am 
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Eeyore would be Job.

Poor Eeyore.

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"The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?" -Psalms 27:1a


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 6:08 am 
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Location: Lively Town
April 23rd

i wish google m
i wish google maps had an avoid ghetto
i wish google maps had an
i wish google maps

Dear Google: This evening, on my way home from the dentist, you had me pass 4 gun stores, 8 liquor stores and 22 pawn shops. I'm not stereotyping, but next time can we please take a less "scenic" route at dusk?

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 25, 2015 3:43 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
April 24th

i forgot t
i forgot to remember to forget
i forgot the password to my wireless network
i forgot the password to my ipod
i forgot the password to my computer
i forgot to be your lover
i forgot to turn my swag off
i forgot the password to my iphone
i forgot to call you on your birthday
i forgot to be your lover lyrics
i forgot to remember to forget lyrics

Hello? Is this the Alzheimer's Hotline? Could you give me the number I just dialed? WHo is this? Where is my freaking pizza?

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 25, 2015 3:45 pm 
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April 25th/26th

good things h
good things happen to those who wait
good things hitler did
good things happen to good people
good things happen lyrics
good things happen quotes
good things happen tot those who wait quote
good things happening in the world
good things happen to those who hustle
good things happen to bad people
good things happen to bad people quotes

1. Killing himself. 2. Killing himself. 3. Killing himself.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2015 2:40 pm 
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The trains were on t-*shot*

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"The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?" -Psalms 27:1a


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2015 3:20 pm 
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Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
April 27th

google is r
google is redirecting me
google is retarded
google is redirecting
google is run by pigeons
google is run by aliens
google is redirected
google is ruining everything
google is really slow
google is rich
google is running slow

This explains the huge number of Whoogles dealing with poop.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2015 3:21 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
April 28th

gummi bears a
gummi bears and vodka
gummi bears acapella
gummi bears a new beginning
gummi bears amazon
gummi bears and water
gummi bears adventures
gummi bears animation

"Gummis and Goose" is the hottest panty dropper in all of third grade.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 7:23 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
April 29th

hannah montana is k
hannah montana is killing your children
hannah montana is kissing games
hannah montana is killing
hannah montana is kissing
hannah montana is kissing boys games
hannah montana is kissing girls
hannah montana is kissing a boy
hannah montana is kissing her boyfriend games

I thought it was obesity, lack of exercise and marijuana. It turns out that the twerking, slutty, tongue-displaying former Disney star is guilty of mass infanticide. When she is finally convicted of these heinous crimes, it will break the achy breaky hearts of tweens who escaped her murder spree.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 7:26 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
April 30th

help with bla
help with blackberry
help with blackheads
help with blackboard
help with blackberry torch
help with blackberry email setup
help with black ops
help with black eyes
help with black magic
help with blackberry app world
help with blackberry storm

Who is concerned that the IP address of this query was traced back to the Oval Office? The next Google query from User "Brock O" was, "What is a balanced budget and how do I get one?"

((OOC: Hey, "funny" Whoogle writer guy... Black ops is a video game.))

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PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2015 10:13 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
May 1st

how come a
how come a cupcake is not considered a mineral
how come a transvestite donkey witch
how come a cupcake
how come a cupcake is not
how come a tomato is a fruit
how come a bird can fly

Women know these delectable "muffins with frosting" are an essential source of vital nutrients for a few days each month, coincidentally at the same time that chocolate, Ben & Jerry's, peanut butter and vodka are the four major food groups.

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PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2015 8:10 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
May 2nd/3rd

how do you know if b
how do you know if birth control fails
how do you know if breast milk has gone bad
how do you know if baby has dropped
how do you know if beef has gone bad
how do you know if bacon has gone bad
how do you know if buttermilk has gone bad
how do you know if baby is teething
how do you know if broccoli has gone bad
how do you know if blue cheese has gone bad
how do you know if birth control is working

If there is an infant preparing to make a swan dive out of your uterus, it is not working.

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PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2015 10:36 am 
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Location: Lively Town
May 4th

how do you know if you are dea
how do you know if you are deaf
how do you know if you are deaf in one ear
how do you know if you are dead
how do you know if you are dead yahoo answers
how do you know if you are going deaf

Is your skin pasty white? Are you eyes fixated? Are you unable to communicate? Strangely, this is also the answer to "How do you know if you are Ozzy Osbourne?"

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PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2015 3:04 pm 
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How do you know if you are alive?


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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 2:42 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:32 pm
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Location: Lively Town
May 5th

how does al q
how does al qaeda recruit
how does al qaeda operate
how does al qaeda communicate
how does al qaeda get funding
how does al qaeda affect the us
how does al qaeda affect the united states
how does al qaeda make its money
how does al qaeda get weapons

Mainly through Monster.com, where they peruse resumes for candidates who are serious about their commitment to jihad. They also recruit scantily clad sorority girls who can skank their way through airport security and possibly serve as one of 72 "virgins" post-martyrdom.

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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 5:24 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
May 6th

how dr
how drunk am i
how dry cleaning works
how drugs affect the brain
how dry i am
how dreams work
how dropbox works
how drugs affect the body
how dress on the first day of school
how drugs work
how drum brakes work

If you are asking Google to determine your level of sobriety, please stay out of your vehicle. Last time we checked, Google had not yet implemented the G-breathalyzer feature. But don't worry, there will be an app for that soon.

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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 1:14 pm 
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The Great B-Man wrote:
April 28th

gummi bears a
gummi bears and vodka

"Gummis and Goose" is the hottest panty dropper in all of third grade.


Gummi bears absorb vodka well, its like having a jello shot

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He's back and slower than ever.


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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 1:36 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
May 7th

how is
how is babby formed
how is a raven like a writing desk
how is mrna made
how is hiv treated
how is a hurricane formed
how is hiv transmitted
how is carbon dating done
how is curling scored
how is tampa's climate affected by the gulf
how is vinegar made

I think the more relevant question here is, what is a babby? New rule: If you don't know how to spell baby and you don't know how babies are made, you are officially not allowed to procreate.

((OOC: Additional rule for the writers: Do some research first before making "witty" comments.))

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PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 7:14 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
May 8th

when jesus ca
when jesus came the corn mothers went away
when jesus came to jordan
when jesus came to harvard
when jesus came to birhimgham
when jesus came to jordan lyrics
when jesus came into my heart
when jesus came to harvard summary
when jesus calms the storm
when jesus came into my heart lyrics
when jesus came into my life

I, for one, am very appreciative of Jesus and his magical ability to remove those pesky corn mothers from society. Generally, it takes a high level of certain pesticides to eradicate those crazy ladies.

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PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 10:29 pm 
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Corn mothers?

Ehh wot?

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"The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?" -Psalms 27:1a


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PostPosted: Sat May 09, 2015 5:11 pm 
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Posts: 3711
Location: Lively Town
May 9th-10th

how should i kill
how should i kill benny
how should i kill my brother
how should i kill my fish
how should i kill my girlfriend
how should i kill my self
how should i kill my wife
how should i kill
how should i kill my sister
how should i kill him
how should i kill rathalos

Any schmuck is going to need a little direction when it comes offing a significant other, a sibling and especially shifty characters like Benny and Rathalos. But your fish? We know the gods of Google will respond with two words: Flush, dumbass!

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PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2015 12:37 pm 
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Location: Lively Town
May 11th

how to drive fast on drugs w
how to drive fast on drugs while getting your wing wang squeezed
how to drive fast on drugs while getting

It's easy to put the pedal to the metal and get a happy ending when you've got meth to share with the coke whore in the passenger seat. A more helpful tutorial is, "How to not get pulled over while driving fast on drugs while getting your wing-wang squeezed."

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