(Previous mock trial not posted for size constraints and because this one was awesome.
It starts out pretty good and funny, but the footing picks up most around halfway and doesn't stop.
Smilies mostly omitted due to F6 not having them.
giganticTager = Wally
continuousTriganomist = MY
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA = Ruki
Father Jazz = LuigiBoy7)
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
WE HAD A MOCK TRIAL
BUT YOU
THE DEFENSE ATTOURNEY
FAILED TO APPEAR.
YOU'RE A FAILURE.
YOUR RECORD WILL FOREVER BE TARNISHED BY INADEQUACY AND LATENESS!
giganticTager says:
I WAS...uh... I WAS HANDLING THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF THE "chatkill, FOOD HAS TO COME OUT SOMEWHERE?!"
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
YOU'LL NEVER BE HIRED AGAIN.
/EVER/.
giganticTager says:
I obtained a Super Innocent verdict.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
EVEEEEER.
continuousTriganomist says:
I got myself aquitted AND Shocked the world.
No kthnx to you.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Indeed.
He could go on trial for being the WORST DEFENSE ATTOURNEY EVER.
giganticTager says:
THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT EVEN A chatkill ATTORNEY.
I'm a /detective/.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
It says right here. "Wakku-Chan, Ace Attourney."
giganticTager says:
THAT EVIDENCE WAS MANUFACTURED.
MANUFACTURED
BY
SHORT, ORIENTAL BUTTERFLY-MASKED GANGS OF /FELONS/.
continuousTriganomist says:
[Messenger Plus! Sound] - Data{2A20271AEC1E} - PROTESTO
giganticTager says:
The chatkill...
Always stalking me...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
/Prove/ it.
giganticTager says:
PROVE IT?! THEY'RE chatkill STANDING AROUND US RIGHT NOW.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
PROVE IT.
PROVE IT chatkill.
giganticTager says:
THEY'RE SCRIBBLING A BEARD ON YOUR FACE.
RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
YOU HAVE A SHARPIE FACE.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
... Now that's just WRONG.
*Bats sharpie away*
Okay, so their TOTAL chatkill.
What's your point?
giganticTager says:
THEY TRIED TO FRAME ME...as...A DEFENSE ATTORNEY.
WHICH I AM NOT.
continuousTriganomist says:
LORD RUKI. This Man is clearly more sane then the rest of us.
I susspect he is a big fat HULA DANCER.
And a Lier.
giganticTager says:
AS I HAVE NO FORMAL TRAINING.
The only thing I have...
...is the lollipop in my mouth that looks like a cigarette
and
my ability to point and scream things.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Then explain your BADGE.
giganticTager says:
MY DETECTIVE BADGE? If I didn't have that
I'd just be a badass lookin' homeless guy
breaking onto crime scenes.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Your ATTOURNEY BADGE. Detectives ain't got no badge.
giganticTager says:
THEY DO TOO.
BECAUSE...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
They're just losers, after all.
giganticTager says:
...I HAVE THIS! *DETECTIVE BAAAAAADGE GO*
continuousTriganomist says:
Ruki.
Grant me permission to see Wakky'd Detective badge.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
woah;
*
*Hands badge to MY*
So, MR. HOTSHOT DETECTIVE, here's a question.
If you're such a HOTSHOT DETECTIVE...
continuousTriganomist says:
*inspectinspectinspect*
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Why can't you stand THE BLUE BADGER SONG?
giganticTager says:
Becaaaaaaause...
...
...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
DO YOU NOT WANT TO DEFEND?
giganticTager says:
...
...the chatkill stole my lunch money.
continuousTriganomist says:
EVERYONE. I HAVE COMPLETED MY ANALYSIS.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Your Honor, now he's accusing the Blue Badger of thievery.
He is no cop.
giganticTager says:
WHAT IS THE VERDICT, YOUR YOKUBANESS?
continuousTriganomist says:
WAKKY.
YOUR BADGE
Father Jazz says:
WHAT
WHAT
BLUE BAD- oh Yokuba's talking
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Scroll up.
Father Jazz says:
I've been reading.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Keep reading.
continuousTriganomist says:
Is on sale at Macy's for $3.99.
giganticTager says:
Yeah.
It's part of the detective examination.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
continuousTriganomist says:
BUT.
giganticTager says:
They hide the badges
under the women's lingerie.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
JUDGE LUIGI.
continuousTriganomist says:
You copped out!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Do you not see THIS MAN'S FRAUD?
giganticTager says:
And you have to sue your detective ability
continuousTriganomist says:
For this badge....
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
...Oh, damn MY
That pun
giganticTager says:
to find them.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Was awesome.
giganticTager says:
It was.
continuousTriganomist says:
IS MADE OF YOUR OWN SWEAT.
giganticTager says:
...
...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
...
giganticTager says:
...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
giganticTager says:
WHAT
Father Jazz says:
giganticTager says:
WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
MOST SHOCKING TWIST YET.
giganticTager says:
I KNOW!
I'm so shocked
that I'm, like...
... *RANDOM MOTION LIKE I'VE BEEN SMACKED*
continuousTriganomist says:
THUS.
Forgery.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
So then HOTSHOT DETECTIVE.
giganticTager says:
...GONNA DO THAT.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
TELL US THE TRUTH.
THE REAL TRUTH.
giganticTager says:
...Okay.
You got me.
I...am not a detective.
I am Wally Loaly.
World's Greatest Candy Salesman.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
...
giganticTager says:
Would you like a chocolate bar?
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
(He's got me on the ropes...)
I...
...
SIR.
Father Jazz says:
TOO LATE
YOU HAVE TO BUY IT NOW
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
WHAT IS YOUR MOST COMMONLY SOLD CHOCOLATES?
Father Jazz says:
giganticTager says:
I
MAINLY SELL
THE BIG ONES WITH THE NUTS IN 'EM.
EXCEPTATHALLOWEEN!
When that happens...
...it's all fun size, for reals.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Now then, your honor.
Father Jazz says:
I SAID BUY THE CHOCOLATE
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
On October 31st, 2077, Mr. Mario Kayone was found dead in his office, apparantly of heart failure.
Examination later found he had been poisoned, which somehow caused his heart to stop. chatkill if I know how that works.
continuousTriganomist says:
YOUR HONOR YOU ARE BADGERING THE PROSECUTION.
I'm afraid I must confescate your right to bear Mammals.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
And, your honor, I would like to submit this piece of evidence...
THE TRASH BIN FROM MR. MARIO KAYONE'S ROOM!
Father Jazz says:
Nah.
Rejected.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH FUN SIZED CHOCOLATE WRAPPERS!
Father Jazz says:
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
JRNJRBH
*Meter shrinks*
B-BUT WHY?
continuousTriganomist says:
Father Jazz says:
'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T BUY THE chatkill' CANDY
giganticTager says:
NOW, I WILL ACT UNCHARACTERISTICALLY ARROGANT FOR NO REASON THAT HELPS MY CASE.
HAHAHAHAHA.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
FINE FINE
I'LL BUY SOME chatkill CANDY.
Father Jazz says:
TOO LATE
continuousTriganomist says:
YOUR HONOR.
THIS EVIDENCE. IS A EXCHANGE.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
*Whips Judge Luigi*
continuousTriganomist says:
He wishes to buy candy with it.
Father Jazz says:
THE EVIDENCE CAN'T BE SUBMITTED EV- ASHDOICHSAOIFCD
continuousTriganomist says:
THUS.
IT MUST BE EXECPTED.
Father Jazz says:
giganticTager says:
Unfortunately...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Or else
giganticTager says:
One of my colorful character traits
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
It is a front to chocolatedom everywhere.
giganticTager says:
of my large list
Father Jazz says:
giganticTager says:
not the least of which is my crazy rainbow hair
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
*Revives Luigi*
continuousTriganomist says:
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WITNESS.
*book*
giganticTager says:
DOES NOT HAPPEN TO BE NON-MONETARY EXCHANGES! *catches book with A PIECE OF BUBBLE GUM*
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Don't assail the witness quite yet, Franzika von Kuba.
giganticTager says:
Indeed.
I have not even had the chance to gloat.
Father Jazz says:
HOLD IT
giganticTager says:
For no good reason.
Father Jazz says:
I now declare an eight second recess
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Now then, DEFENDANT WAKKU-CHAN, do continue your e- SHUT UP JUDGE.
Father Jazz says:
for this
http://5secondfilms.com/watch/super-psyched/giganticTager says:
Your Honor!
That is some hilarious chatkill chatkill.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Wow, that recess was worth it.
Father Jazz says:
Indeed.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
I feel more on top of my game then ever.
Now then, where were we?
Father Jazz says:
YOU MAY CONTINUE.
giganticTager says:
We were at the part where I'm not guilty
continuousTriganomist says:
Quite.
Ruki, you where present a rubbish bin.
giganticTager says:
and it's actually THE STRAWBERRY-SCENTED MAN IN THE CORNER.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Your honor, Wakku-Chan also smells suspiciously like strawberry, even if it is mixed with gunpowder residue, cigarette smoke and awesome.
giganticTager says:
what
Sir.
I am not in the corner!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
You're in the WITNESS STAND.
So you could say...
giganticTager says:
*BUBBLE GUM CATCH-U*
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
I'VE BACKED YOU INTO THE CORNER.
continuousTriganomist says:
HOLD IT.
WAKKY.
giganticTager says:
Actually, I'm doing pretty alright.
Father Jazz says:
YEAAA- OH chatkill
giganticTager says:
Haven't even flinched yet.
Or exploded.
I'd say that's a good track record.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Or so you say.
continuousTriganomist says:
You offered chocolate bars earliar....but, this contradict EVERYTHING.
Candy and Chocolate must never mix. Any TURE Salesmen knows that!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
NOW THEN, for now, DEAR WAKKU-CHAN, you may retake your place as your own prosecution/defense. STRAWBERRY SCENTED KUBA IN THE KORNER, I CALL YOU TO THE STAND.
giganticTager says:
Excellent.
Yes.
Finally.
FINALLYYYYYYY
continuousTriganomist says:
True ones to-Wait what.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Since I'm such a nice guy, I'll let Wakku-Chan CROSS-EXAMINE first.
giganticTager says:
ALRIGHT.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
*Kicks Kuba to the witness' stand*
continuousTriganomist says:
OUCH.
giganticTager says:
I'd like to begin my cross-examination with this.
What...
...the /chatkill/ just happened?
Father Jazz says:
EVERYTHING
continuousTriganomist says:
We did a chatkill.
Father Jazz says:
NOW CONTINUE ON BEFORE I DESTROY YOU
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Everything.
giganticTager says:
ALRIGHT!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
The Judge is law.
Father Jazz says:
TOO LATE
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
IT'S JUST HIM
AND THE LAW.
Father Jazz says:
*DESTROYS YOU*
giganticTager says:
I will begin my perfect prosecution-defenseness.
WITH
well, first, my immunity to being killed because chatkill YOU, YOUR HONOR, I ATE MY WHEATIES LIKE ANY GOOD CITIZEN.
And second...
Father Jazz says:
giganticTager says:
...KUBA GUY WHOSE NAME I DIDN'T EVEN MEMORIZE.
I want to know.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
(On an OOC Note, this would be a fun game. The only one who knows all the evidence and stuff is the Judge and maybe actual killer, and then everyone else has to figure it all out.)
giganticTager says:
Where were you
continuousTriganomist says:
(OOC; that would be cool)
giganticTager says:
AT THE TIME OF TWO O CLOCK YESTERDAY EVENING?!
continuousTriganomist says:
Right here.
It's 2:43.
Father Jazz says:
(OOC: PARENTHESIIIIIIIIS )()()()()()
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
(OOC: Maybe we should try it sometime.)
(OOC: OH GOD PARENTHESIS)
giganticTager says:
OBJECTION!
I said /yesterday/!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Overruled.
Today is yesterday.
Father Jazz says:
This trial has been going on for three years straight.
giganticTager says:
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Indeed.
giganticTager says:
I-I see...!
Father Jazz says:
In fact
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
It's why I drink so much coffee. I MUST BE AWAKE EVERY MOMENT.
continuousTriganomist says:
I would say that's a ding off your bar, Mr. Wally.
Father Jazz says:
we all died of dehydration years ago and this is currently in Hell.
Hence why you were immune to death.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
So, we're judging which of us shall come back to life or something?
Or is this just for, like
Some kind of hellfire lulz?
Father Jazz says:
THAT
IS NOT FOR YOU TO KNOW
giganticTager says:
Wrong on all accounts.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
ARE YOU THE DEVIL?
giganticTager says:
The true answer...
...is that we're all NAKAMA.
continuousTriganomist says:
We're trying to find the TRUTH.
We do know what it is. But We'll know when we find it.
giganticTager says:
And I gave you a chocolate bar
Father Jazz says:
Also not for you to know. At Ruki.
giganticTager says:
for us to split as friends.
BUT!
Before we could properly become friends...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
giganticTager says:
...the chocolate bar had DRUGS in it!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Hold it RIGHT THERE, beTRAYER.
giganticTager says:
So now we're all on a really bad trip.
Father Jazz says:
OH chatkill HE CALLED YOU A BETRAYER
giganticTager says:
OH chatkill WHY
Father Jazz says:
It all goes downhill from here...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
You say the chocolate bar was given to use as a sign of friendship...
continuousTriganomist says:
MR. WALLY. I AM GETTING RESTLESS. I HAVE RUN OUT OF BADGERS TO THROW AT THE JUDGE.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
And yet, one man, Mario Kayone, is suspiciously dead, of poison, after eating chocolate. Possibly your chocolate. And who would even convict him? Why, the best defense lawyer, the strawberry man, the idiot judge...
So you form a friendship with us...
And then use the same trick again.
Very clever, Mr. Wakku-Chan...
giganticTager says:
You're mistaken.
Actually...
...the truth is...
Father Jazz says:
Actually he's not mistaken.
I fact-checked him on Google.
giganticTager says:
...I'm really not very smart.
Mario was my first attempt.
At NAKAMA.
But when I bought him a chocolate
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
(He's not very smart, is he...?)
giganticTager says:
for us to split...
...he /died/.
continuousTriganomist says:
Can I go back to my desk now?
Father Jazz says:
NO
giganticTager says:
It was pure horrible luck
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
(If that's the case, then...?)
giganticTager says:
that when I met all of you
I bought the same brand of chocolate.
THE SAME BRAND
AS
THAT FATEFUL
NIGHT.
Father Jazz says:
I also fact-checked this.
giganticTager says:
THE NIGHT WHERE MARIO, A GUY WHO HAD MADE A REALLY GOOD JOKE AT THE CAFE WITH ME
Father Jazz says:
It may or may not be true.
giganticTager says:
WAS KILLED.
BY DRUGGED CHOCOLATE.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
...Mr. Wakku-Chan. I believe you have overlooked one key fact. Are murderers of your kin always so careless...?
giganticTager says:
Yes.
Yes they are.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
You say you are "Not very smart".
giganticTager says:
I do.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
In fact, you just said this.
giganticTager says:
I did.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Therefor, I submit another piece of evidence to the court. *Slams down piece of paper* This contains very personal notes from Mr. Wakku-Chan's desk. Can everyone see this? Get a good look. *Holds paper, passes copies around* Do you see something amazing about this, people of this court?
Yes, this is a stunning example of brain-held prowess. A Confirmed WMG on TV Tropes.
Could such a dumb man truly be capable of such a feat...?
Father Jazz says:
HOLD IT
giganticTager says:
OBJECTION!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Father Jazz says:
I SAID HOLD IT
giganticTager says:
If you were to look closer...
Father Jazz says:
SIT THE chatkill DOWN
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
I'M BEING HIT BY BOTH SIDES.
giganticTager says:
you would find out something.
continuousTriganomist says:
TAKE THAT.
Father Jazz says:
EIGHT SECOND RECESS
giganticTager says:
That WMG...
Father Jazz says:
http://5secondfilms.com/watch/death_ray_from_space/giganticTager says:
...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
ALRIGHT
RECESS EVERYONE.
giganticTager says:
hold up recess time first
continuousTriganomist says:
WOOO I SHOTGUN THE SLIDE.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Can we extend this recess a few seconds more so the defenscution may pee? The coffee is finally passin' on it's ay out...
giganticTager says:
Father Jazz says:
NO
I mean yes.
giganticTager says:
(...wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Back, refreshed and chatkill.
Shall the court continue?
Father Jazz says:
NO
giganticTager says:
Alright.
That WMG.
continuousTriganomist says:
One more slide.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
giganticTager says:
If you read it, you would discover a horrible fact.
Father Jazz says:
SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE
Continue.
giganticTager says:
One that seriously undermines your assertion
that I am smart.
That WMG.
IT's for Sesame Street.
And if you were to read the contents...
...THIS IS WHAT THEY WOULD SAY!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
I OBJECT, YOUR HONOR!
giganticTager says:
HERE GOES.
DRAMATIC
READING
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Sesame Street is only for some chatkill serious adults.
giganticTager says:
'C is for Cookie
It's actually not very good for you at all.'
Father Jazz says:
OH GOD
AS THE
giganticTager says:
That. That is the content.
Of my WMG.
Father Jazz says:
WHATEVER THE HECK RUKI IS SAID
giganticTager says:
Father Jazz says:
SESAME STREET IS TOO INTENSE FOR THIS COURT ROOM
giganticTager says:
It took me all night to type that.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
It is.
continuousTriganomist says:
Hrngh......
Wait...wait....waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
This evidence shall be disbarred, I suppose.
continuousTriganomist says:
HOLD IT.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
How u-
IS THERE STILL HOPE FOR MY GROUNDBREAKING THEORUM?
continuousTriganomist says:
MAY I SEE THE EVIDENCE ONCE MORE?
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Yes.
*Passes it to Kuba*
continuousTriganomist says:
Hmm....Myes....Myes.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
MYes?
continuousTriganomist says:
This, is rather interesting.
giganticTager says:
What is it?
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Oh?
giganticTager says:
What have you uncovered?!
Father Jazz says:
It better not have Sesame Street...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
What secrets lurk on the papers below...?
continuousTriganomist says:
This WMG, is written....In Old Tupi.
A Language SOO Dead, only THE WISE AND WITTY CAN MAKE SENSE OF IT.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
...
How did I oversee that...?
giganticTager says:
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
It's...SO OBVIOUS.
(I'm a failure...)
YOUR HONOR.
giganticTager says:
Father Jazz says:
Eh?
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
This CLEARLY backs up my statement.
Father Jazz says:
I totally wasn't sleeping.
continuousTriganomist says:
Because you where reading the translation printed neatly on the bottom.
Father Jazz says:
WHAT
NO IT DOESN'T
SIT THE chatkill DOWN
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Father Jazz says:
OW
CHALK
chatkill
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Is this where Wakku-Chan has an epic breakdown?
giganticTager says:
...
Ha...
Hahahahaha...
...Objection.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
I think it is.
Or not...?
Father Jazz says:
WHAT IS IT YOU?
continuousTriganomist says:
Too soon.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Shall th prosecution attempt it's own turnabout?
giganticTager says:
I find that...that assertion.
It is objectionable.
For one key reason.
Father Jazz says:
And someone best get me a band-aid for this chalk-induced wound...
giganticTager says:
That Old Tupi translation...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Baliffkuba can get that.
giganticTager says:
...Were you to take it to anyone slightly fluent in Old Tupi...
...you would find it is gibberish!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Oh?
giganticTager says:
For, you see, people of the court...
I did not enter that WMG, that I strained over, into TVTropes first...
In my stupidity...
...I had first gone...
...to GOOGLE TRANSLATIONS.
WITH THE DEFAULT OF
ENGLISH TO OLD TUPI l
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Ha. Objection.
Father Jazz says:
OVERRULED
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Kuba, my laptop.
continuousTriganomist says:
*throws*
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
*ONE HANDED BADASS GRAB AND IT STILL HIT ME HEAD *
You see, your honor...*Opens laptop* Wakku-Chan has forgotten a KEY fact...
In his OVERZEALOUS and EMOTIONAL HASTE.
Father Jazz says:
No one listens to me anymore...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
*type, type* *Flips laptop around* You see, your honor...*Clicks list*
There is no "Old Tupi" option on Google Translations.
There is only "Neo Tupi".
giganticTager says:
Ha. What a useless objection from a useless attorney.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
The one who says useless is useless!
giganticTager says:
What does it matter that I was mistaken which translator I had used...?
In fact...
...I may have just remembered something.
To showcase.
Truly.
And
Completely
My stupidity.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
You do a lot of convient remembering, "good fellow".
continuousTriganomist says:
How deviously convient of you.
giganticTager says:
For you see...
...I had actually gone
and submitted my WMG
Father Jazz says:
I'm just going to cut myself due to the depression of being IGNORED.
giganticTager says:
to a professional translator.
Losing
an entire ten dollars.
Father Jazz says:
BUT IT'S NO USE BECAUSE WE'RE ALREADY IN HEEELLLLL
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
(OOC: I'm so making this an F6 game or somethig to do on MSN at least. And hopefully Wal/Me will end up still being rivals.)
giganticTager says:
If you check my bank account
you will find that ten dollars were lost on the night of whenever.
Paid...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
October 31st, 2077.
giganticTager says:
...to Really chatkill Good Translators.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
...
Ha.
continuousTriganomist says:
......
HOOOOLD IT.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Hahaha.
Father Jazz says:
Actually
continuousTriganomist says:
Ruki. Let me finish.
Father Jazz says:
it said "Really chatkill God Translators."
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Oh.
Fine.
giganticTager says:
I see...
continuousTriganomist says:
Wally. What, do you use?
giganticTager says:
Clarify.
continuousTriganomist says:
What bank*
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Yatatatata...
giganticTager says:
I use...Duntrobusp Banking.
*Duntrobus
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Is it time for ME to take over yet, von Kuba?
continuousTriganomist says:
And if I where to call them, and mention your name. It would say the account was open, and Not FORZEN, 5 YEARS AGo, DUE TO FRUAD?
*BANKER'S CONFESSION SLIP*
Right here. You are official banned from all Chequing and Saving on this side of the Multiverse!
frozen*
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
von Kuba, you FOOL.
giganticTager says:
Simple.
I do not cheque or save
on this side of the multiverse.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Precisely.
Duntrobus Banking is all over the multiverse.
He could of easily hob-nobbed it with the friends in Earth #45891 for his banking needs.
continuousTriganomist says:
Ah, but Ruki, this is just what you need.
To finish it.
I will leave that to you.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Indeed.
I suppose that is so.
Now then, Wakku-Chan.
One last time, what is the name of your banking establishment and translators?
giganticTager says:
Duntrobus Banking. And Really chatkill God Translators.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Good.
And you are banned, from this side of the multiverse, from chequing or saving. Correct?
giganticTager says:
This is correct.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Now then, this means Duntrobus Banking and Wakku-Chan's transactions MUST have come from the other side of the multiverse. But herein lies two key criticals flaws in Wakku-Chan's well thought out testimony.
First, Really chatkill God Translators has hit hard times. They've been cutting back for a while now, laying off jobs. You know, the tough economic climate. In fact, they own no pay stations on the other side of the multiverse. The other...is the one reason Really chatkill God Translators is so good. They have insane anti-fraud techniques. Like only being able to pay where you withdrew, where they
can check your money.
Where they can know all you do.
But, yet, yet...
Yatatata, how could he do that, could he?
If these translators own not a place in sight where the only place Wakku-Chan could get that money was from...?
Now then, Wakku-Chan.
I have ANOTHER QUESTION for you.
giganticTager says:
And what might it be?
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Wakku-Chan, have you ever heard of... Ecks-Kun?
giganticTager says:
...!
...It is...possible, yes.
The name sounds familiar.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Then you know that, for example
He owns a bank of Duntrobus Bankings, on the other side of the multiverse. Is this, perhaps, correct?
giganticTager says:
This is true.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
And that, for example, if he wanted somebody to change the banking records of the account of a... close college friend, an old rival, he could easily have acess to that?
giganticTager says:
Ha. He could, yes.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Now then, if I MAY continue...
Do you deny, Wakku-Chan, that you went to the prostiguous Prototype University?
giganticTager says:
I do not.
It has been far too long.
Father Jazz says:
BUT I DO
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Do you deny that Ecks-Kun, too, went to the prostiguous Prototype University, thanks to his invaluable technical skills?
giganticTager says:
...In a manner of speaking, yes.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
What about, say...
That you both had the same Math and Science classes?
giganticTager says:
Ha.
In that assumption...
...you...
...would be wrong.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Oh?
giganticTager says:
I'm not very smart, as I said. Complex equations and science cause my brain to hurt... *knocks on skull* ...like so, you see?
So...
...I managed to persuade the higher ups to allow me to opt out of that part of the curriculum.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Ah...
Well then, Wakku-Chan, what classes did you take?
Did you, perhaps...
Taking writing?
giganticTager says:
Hmm... Close! You're surprisingly close! =O
Only
you're missing something.
I...
...took /Hand/writing.
I learned properly
over the course of several semesters
how to actually write the alphabet!
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Hmmm...
Good, good, very good.
Now then, Wakku-Chan, do you know Ecks-Kun is Indian?
Not Native American. Indian.
giganticTager says:
All I know is that he goes by the name of NAKUL KALRA.
I had not pondered it.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Such as...from India? Where one would not know English, but Indian?
Such as one...who would need to learn proper english handwriting?
giganticTager says:
Hmm... You see...this is an interesting line of questioning.
However.
This all falls apart if I ask /you/ one question.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Go on, then.
giganticTager says:
If I don't know the person to whom you refer, beyond familiarity with his name...
...how would I know the answers to what you ask? *smirk*
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
...That makes no sense.
giganticTager says:
Exactly. Your line of questioning.
I cannot answer it.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
(OOC: No really I don't get what you just said.)
giganticTager says:
Because.
I.
don't.
know.
Simple, no?
Your line of questioning...
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
giganticTager says:
...has been a beautiful waste of the court's time.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
No, no.
You see, my questioning
Has caught you in a complex web that you have sewn about yourself!
giganticTager says:
Is that so?
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
I will ask one last question, but first...
Would you like to throw yourself to the mercy of the court instead?
giganticTager says:
I don't know why I'm here. There's a dead MArio, this I know. There is no need for me to throw myself at the mercy of the court
as I have committed no wrongs I'm aware of.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Yatatatatata...criminals. So cocksure. So...arrogant.
giganticTager says:
I'm afraid arrogant is not in my vocabulary.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Wakku-Chan, did you not just refer to the subject Ecks-Kun as "Nakul Kalra"?
giganticTager says:
Aaaaaah... I see what you're getting at. But, what if I were to tell you that both names are familiar? What if I were to tell you that, at one point, he had tried to go by Ecks-Kun at the college you have spoken of...
...but that they demanded a "REAL chatkill NAME"?
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Then you'd be in trouble.
giganticTager says:
Would I, now?
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Nakul Kalra WAS Ecks-Kun's real name.
In fact, it was his real name until the day he left college.
But he hated that name.
He hated his Indian ancestry.
Father Jazz says:
pssssst
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
He had it changed.
Father Jazz says:
that's what he said
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
No
He said
He went by it
Before he went to College.
I think.
giganticTager says:
No.
Father Jazz says:
he said he went by Ecks-kun
and they demanded a real name
giganticTager says:
I said that he went by Ecks-Kun.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Oh.
Father Jazz says:
which we assume would be Nakul.
giganticTager says:
The college would not allow it.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Wait a minute
When did the Judge get back in?
Father Jazz says:
now excuse me as I watch the 32 five-second videos I have left.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Alright, sure.
Erase that last statement of mine.
I was clearly under the influence of a severe lack of coffee and delirious.
continuousTriganomist says:
If the defendent is as dumb as he says, it won't be hard.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
But just for that statement.
giganticTager says:
I don't know what statement you refer to.
=D
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Heh, very good.
Now then, you say they demaned
a REAL chatkill NAME.
Correct?
giganticTager says:
I do.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
In that case, he would have to use Nakul Kalra at school, correct?
giganticTager says:
He would.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
In that case, the only way you would know he was known as Ecks-Kun would be to know our dead Ecks-Kun more, would it not? I highly doubt you just randomly saw this wealthy bank owner and thought "This guy sounds familiar to that one old college guy.".
giganticTager says:
College newspapers. I assume you haven't heard of them, Mister Lawyer.
This incident
was quite notable.
This Ecks-kun...
...made quite a scene.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Yatatatata...I never read newspapers when I was in college. I was far too much of a hikkikomori...
What kind of scene, sir Wakku-Chan?
giganticTager says:
One that involved yelling, screaming, rubber ducks inserted in places that hardly bear repeating, and foaming at the mouth with vigor.
One that was...
...a front-page article.
Covered in extensive detail.
One might say this is illogical.
But, one must note...
...not much ever happens at Prototype.
It moves very slooooooowly.
You see?
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Do you recall what year this was?
What newspaper?
giganticTager says:
Such questions...do not interest or concern me.
So much so, in fact
that I am now going to take a nap. I tire.
(OOC: chatkill' five thirty
continuousTriganomist says:
For the record. Wally is not lying.
I present said article.
The date is written here as well.
giganticTager says:
need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
(OOC: Sure, we'll continue some other time.)
giganticTager says:
(G'night.)
continuousTriganomist says:
(night)
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
(OOC: And shall we ignore Kuba's EVIDENCE PRESENTATION?)
giganticTager has left the conversation.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
So, anyone mind if Post this?
continuousTriganomist says:
I don't see why not.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Alrighty.
Father Jazz says:
GOGOGO
DO IT
(So yeah, that's it. YOU NEED A CONCLUSION NOW DON'T YOU. I KNOW YOU DO.
WE WILL HOPEFULLY CONCLUDE THIS TOMORROW.
Helpful suggestions for the forum game would be nice. This might serve as a sort of prequel to it all, I'll have to discuss with Wakku-Chan...
Oh, also:
continuousTriganomist says:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_TupiCAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
MY.
continuousTriganomist says:
Brazil.
Father Jazz says:
'kay
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
Is it dead/
continuousTriganomist says:
....
Extinct.
CAPTAIN MINAMITSU chatkill MURASA says:
...
We're good.
Father Jazz says:
=D
continuousTriganomist says:
yby = earth, hill, mountain
Why does this feel like the laziest language ever?
There was something else I wanted to include, but forgot...)
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