Dashed Expectations

December 8-9th, 2012
A teenager tried to rob a store armed with nothing more than a banana. The suspect held the banana under his shirt and claimed it was a gun. The clerk, however, jumped up and lucky for him, the banana was not loaded. The store clerks held him down and waited for police to arrive. As they waited, the suspect ate the banana. Fortunately, police were able to take the peel as evidence.
Utah

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Maybe he should have borrowed that other guy's suit.

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twitter: @UnsavoryDoM, @UnsavoryExpect

Monday, December 10th, 2012
Sometimes banks use explosive dye packs to protect their money once it has been stolen. One bank robber learned the hard way not to put the stolen loot in his pants. After a recent bank robbery, the robber put the money, and subsequently some of the dye packs, in his pants as he left the bank. The packs exploded and caused burns to a very sensitive area.
New York

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Tuesday, December 11th, 2012
A robber walked into the bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. He concluded the note with, "Yours truly, Thanks! And have a nice day." However, the paper that he wrote the note on belonged to his father. He tried to block the personal information out but the bank was able to determine whom it belonged to by using a magnetic scanning device.
Nebraska

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Is this dumb bank robbers week?

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Wednesday, December 12th, 2012
Using his underwear as a mask while knocking over convenience stores, a man had an unsuccessful first attempt when his boxers nearly fell off of his head, exposing part of his face. Just 30 minutes later and two miles away, he hit another store and was successful this time. The next weekend, the robber ditched the briefs and donned a paintball helmet instead, holding up two more stores in just a few hours. The man and his drawers are still unaccounted for.
Texas

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Good for him! He learned from his mistakes!



Wait.

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Thursday, December 13th, 2012
One bank robber actually called 911 after he held up a bank. He successfully robbed the bank but got in an accident in his getaway vehicle. He later found his roommate dead of an apparent suicide, so he called 911. Police matched his description to that of the bank robber and took him into custody. The police captain told the local news that the man "was having a bad day."
Maine

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Once, A cop said that to me about a man who stole a fire engine and crashed it off road near my house.

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Friday, December 14th, 2012
A man tried to rob a grocery store and left his wallet behind for police to find. When he went to the station to file a report that his wallet was missing, they told him that they found it and he was under arrest. Police were able to match the identity in the wallet to a suspicious report report.
New Hampshire

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December 15-16th, 2012
A 25-year-old man was arrested on charges of criminal impersonation and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle. There were flashing lights atop his SUV and what appeared to be a police badge in his hand when the fake cop pulled up next to the real cop. The fake cop flashed his fake badge. Then the real cop said in a very !#%$ way, "That's not a badge." The real cop pulled out his own badge and said, "That's a badge." Good cop, dumb cop.
Alabama

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Plot twist: The fake cop switched badges with the real cop.

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twitter: @UnsavoryDoM, @UnsavoryExpect

Monday, December 17th, 2012
One robber held up a police chief. The robber waited for the chief to come out of the men's room before sticking a gun in his face and demanding money. Luckily, the chief had some backup: about 300 officers to be exact. Not only was the guy he robbed a police chief, but he was also attending a policeman's convention at the same time.
Delaware

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Tuesday, December 18th, 2012
Police caught a female robbery suspect waiting in line to get a pizza. The robber had held up a convenience store and fled the scene before police arrived. The person she held up watched her walk to a pizza place across the street. Police arrived at the scene and found the woman still waiting in line for her pizza.
Florida

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She should have ordered earlier.

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twitter: @UnsavoryDoM, @UnsavoryExpect

Wednesday, December 19th, 2012
One guy committed a robbery and then went to a police station to sign up to be an officer. The man in question robbed a store and beat up an employee who approached him in the parking lot as he tried to leave the store. He then went to the police station to take his examination. As police brought him into his cell, he actually asked one of the officers if he could still take his examination even though he had just been arrested.
Maryland

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Thursday, December 20th, 2012
One crook actually told police he committed a crime as they were hauling the wrong guy away. Police arrested the wrong man for stealing two bottles of malt liquor from a nearby store and pulling a knife on the store's owner. The person who allegedly saw them taking the wrong guy away decided to point out their little mistake. He actually shouted, according to the story, "It was me you idiots, you have the wrong guy." Police thanked the man for correcting them and threw him in jail.
New Jersey

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Friday, December 21st, 2012
One robber learned the hard way that he should leave his wife at home when committing crimes, when his wife inadvertently led police to his hideout. The suspect brought his wife to a convenience store, each time wearing the same clothes. Then on the day of the robbery, his wife wrote the clerk a personal check with their name and address on it before her husband lunged across the counter and tried to rob the store. The clothes and the check put the man behind bars.
Illinois

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December 22nd-23rd, 2012
Thieves robbed a man at a burger restaurant for one dollar. Two thieves approached the man in the parking lot and demanded money. The guy handed over his wallet that only contained a dollar, and the pair took off. The man wasn't hurt and the robbers weren't happy.
Missouri

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Monday, December 24th, 2012
An alleged robber tried to steal from a concession stand at a charity golf tournament, using his underpants to disguise his face. The clerk reportedly told the knife-wielding robber, "You gotta be kidding me." The clerk wrestled the knife away from the robber, who cut himself on the broken blade. The clerk alerted two nearby golfers, who chased the robber down in a golf cart.
Georgia

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Tuesday, December 25th, 2012
Some robbers had to leave their loot behind because the getaway car they brought wasn't big enough to carry it. The robbers tried to hijack a van loaded with cash, $1.3 million to be exact. Unfortunately, the car they stole and planned to use for their heist could only hold about half of that.
Malaysia

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They should have used both.

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twitter: @UnsavoryDoM, @UnsavoryExpect

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012
A robber was foiled by a fast food manager when the manager locked him out of the restaurant. The robber caught the manager in his car and ordered him out of it at gunpoint. The robber then told the manager to unlock the restaurant. The manager did just that while the robber stood by the car and waited for him. The manager ended up locking himself inside the store and called police while the robber took off.
France

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Thursday, December 27th, 2012
A bank robber dropped his gun and broke it during a robbery. The robber entered the bank in the usual costume, produced a weapon, and began waving it around and ordering everyone on the floor. He dropped the gun and it broke into a bunch of pieces on the floor. He picked up the gun pieces and still robbed the bank with it. The man got away.
Oregon

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